Every time I get close to happiness or success something happens to screw it up. I have had severe depression and anxiety and had to drop out of college. I got breast cancer and now have fake, scarred boobs. I have severe social, dating anxiety. I finally found a guy that I like and feel safe with. I turned him down initially but one day I prayed that god would guide me and soften my heart. I saw him not an hour later and he invited me to a faith renewal seminar. My eyes were opened. I realized how much I liked him then 2 days ago I get a possible herpes diagnosis. Which by the way, I've only ever been with one person over ten years ago. That is the extent of my sexual experience. I know women who contstantly sleep around with many partners and have nothing!! It not fair!!! He's currently "reflecting" on it but I know it's over. He's germophobe. I know hes disgusted by me.
GOd, I asked you to soften my heart not break it!!!
To me you are colder and colder everytime. I hate my self. I hate my scars, I hate my social anxiety, I HATE hepes. I hate depression. Today, I hate You too.
It was so hard to date him. I had to push through so much anxiety, it was so hard but I did it becuase I like him so much I thought I might be falling in love. Now??? Hell no I am NEVER coming out of my shell. I am never taking a chance again!! Everyone can go to hell, fuck you all. Fuck God! This isn't fucking fair!!!
What the hell am I supposed to get out of this other than DETESTING myself!
Destesting scars, herpes, social anxiey, I don't like my home or my jobs very much, cant think of any good. | |
come to fuck
i very horny
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