LIFE SUCKS

I don't see it going anywhere

I am 18. I love math and programming. In my country, there are very few such girls. Hence, I almost always never have company. Yet, I have worked through everything. I fought hard against all those people who never considered me because I'm a girl but I realize, it makes no difference.
I don't mean to say that all guys are mcps but just that the ones I meet mostly are. And that is what depresses me more.
My school prof never believed in me. Hence, even when I showed better results, another guy in my class got into a tier-1 college while i got into a tier-2 college.Actually, I got an admission into a tier-1 college too...but, i had no money.
It didn't stop there. In college,it's just getting worse. I'm not the dressing-up kind and usually just want to get my work done and leave. It's probably all those disappointments I've faced that have made me grow immune to the 'fun' that people have.Essentially, people mock at me or at my rather simple dressing sense.
I like helping people and I found that people have just been taking advantage of me. My best friend stopped talking to me once she met this rich-kid from some other country in my college. Then, I joined the tech club in my college and though I had helped my other friend get in, he never helps me. He stole my code and false advertised. Hence, he's higher up the ladder than I am.
My prof just told him over the phone (which was on speaker ) while we were coding together that he'd given him awesome grades though his paper and hence actual performance was bad, all because he had done a better project under him. Did I do a project? yes. Just that though I approached the prof earlier, he got a better project ,even when we were equally qualified.I'm just left to wonder why.
I prepared so hard for my college debate but end up realizing during the debate that our team got the wrong topic. The judges decide to disqualify us.
I prepared so hard for the college 'scrap-band' performance but the mikes got messed up in the end and the judge couldn't hear us.pity.
we didn't even progress beyond the first round.
I have rarely been understood by people and feel alone most of the times.
The only people I meet are those that have taken advantage of me and now, I donot know who to trust.
I'm so scared that I refrain from getting close to people.
I have hence never had a boyfriend.
It's been a long time since I smiled care-free, held hands with people who I know care for me genuinely and spoke without wondering what is going on in the other person's mind.
It's been so long since I got a warm hug, a friendly phone call and a happy present.
I'm tired pf all this. I just wanna let go. Die. Jump off from somewhere. But everytime I meet my parents, I see that they've spent money bringing me up and that I shouldn't waste my life without paying them back.
I dunno what to do.
Everything I attempt at seems to back-fire. Almost as if it's written that I should fail always.
I live a loser's life. I just don't see it going anywhere.