on paper i got a great life. good looking, tall, good friends, parents got money, im in a good college, havent had a girlfriend yet and am a little awkward but have had flings and am not a virgin. looking at that im pretty good.
however, i live in a shadow. i have sexual anhedonia or inorgasmia. its a condition where when i ejaculate i dont experience pleasure / orgasm at all. i have erections fine, just no pleasure. the thing is i also a normal / huge sex drive. abilitiy to get erections fine so i constantly need to release my semen, but each time i do i get depressed. ejaculating with no pleasure day after day is the worst feeling in the world.
ive seen many doctors and none can help. done all sorts of tests. its definitely not psychological cus i never experienced trauma. its probably a dopamine problem. really makes me depressed all the time. not sure how i would ever have a gf / wife. i cant experience the best healthiest sensation a human can feel of love. its really all i think about and gets me down. and i seem hopeless because there is no cure at the moment and soo frustrated being sent doctor to doctor specialist to specialist. told my dad a tiny bit of problem.. but its so embarassing i just keep it between me and docs. took awhile to get courage to see doc. havnt told friends really or girls ive been with. they have no clue.
on top of that i have bad sleep problems and am tired a lot.. but the orgasm thing gets me down all the time. also i have no clue what i want to do with my life, feel lost, why am i here?
im not terrible though, i function, i have fun, i have healthy relationships with friends, reading your guys posts im not that bad.. but its such a rare problem with no hope and super hard to talk about with anything so i feel alone in the world. | |
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