LIFE SUCKS

what next

4 years ago it all started down hill and it has gone fast. I was in a job that I didn't hate but it still paid the bills, I was in love and about to ask her to marry me, I had a little house and a cool dog. 4 weeks before I was going to ask the true love of my life to marry me she called me on the phone and told me it was over, no reason just it was over and to never contact her "ever, for any reason". Within a couple months my precious little dog died, I had to hold her in my arms while I felt the life drain from her body. Shortly after that I was laid off from my job (still unemployed to this day). This ultimately forced me to sell my house. So in the matter of months I lost my love, my dog, my job and my home. I was so torn up it was impossible to even fathom what had just happened. After moving to a tiny little one room apartment I injured my back and was basically crippled for the next 3 years, uable to stand or sit for more then a few minutes at a time. I look to the heavens and ask why. I'm a good person and have been a contributing member of society since basically being on my own from 16 on. I can't even get up some mornings, no where to go, nothing to do, in pain, money gone, unemployment gone, love gone, home gone, it's all just fucking disappeared. I'm not a bad person and don't understand how this happens to decent human beings. I see crap humans stepping all over people being successful and flying through life with no worries. It just doesn't make sense. I ask God to come and take me, I'm done and I have no energy to go on. Let's just get it over with, PLEASE! Thanks to all who read this and the compassion I'm sure you have. bye, M