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I KEEPTRYING AND KEEP GETTING NOTHING GOOD

Posted by SMURF at December 6, 2011
Tags: Attitude  2011 December  Failure

Im a 29 year old female about to turn 30 in April 2012. I don't have a job. I dont have a boyfriend. I have no money. I do have family. I am the youngest and im bullied between them all, even at this age.
i do nothing, I used to work when i was out of university, then i decided obn a career change at some point and left..i took a few other jobs, i volunteered in the hope of finding out what i really wanted to do..i went back to study in a subject i thought i wanted to continue in to, i finished studies. i havent worked in that field. I finished the studies for that 4 years ago. I have had interviews, i get rejected. i still apply and i get rejected. Ive broadened my job search to even jobs that are retail working in a shop, i get rejected. I fell madly in love, he lived in NY and I live in London, he moved to london with his job then dumped me and now hes living with a girl he met only a few months after me. My father died, i love him so much. he had terrible cancer. he wasnt happy that i was unemployed and doing nothing with my life and that was what i was doing when he died. i met someone after ages of being a hermit and not leaving the house, then it looked like things were looking up, i was keeping busy but then things just fizzled out and the guy i was seeing fizzled out too. i dont have that much of a social life but ive been accepoting invitations and making new friends but thats it, i have nothing of substance, my life is totally empty and void. Im nearly 30 and i have nothing to show fpr myself. all my friends are working and have boyfriends or married and i have none, i dont hace my own plsace and still live at home and nobody takes me seriously at home. i got rejected from every area almost..my hair is falling out from stress. i did all these reiki courses and positive thinking courses and putting life in to practice, manifesting my desires and sending pout positive energy, i did it 2 years syraight with all my heart. but nothing changed, even my mentors dont understand it.
i just feel like im undeserving of my life as im not doing anything, im just doing alot of waiting for death to come and then that will be that. im just waiting to die and it feels like a long and very boring wait.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 09:31

I feel your pain, but I have to tell you something.
It won't make you feel better, but you'll feel less alone.

All these people you see leading "normal, happy" lives, are also full of problems and questions =(
That's the sad reality!

Where you see a friend married with kids, sometimes there's a woman having marital problems and over stressed because kids are very demanding.

Where you see a successful at work friend, sometimes there's a guy that hates his job, but doesn't really have a choice because an unemployed man is considered a "failure" by society, especially if he has a family to "provide to".

Where you see a couple that have been together for a long time, sometimes there are two people who choose to stay together just because they're used to it and not really in love anymore.

I told you it wouldn't help, but you see, human nature is very complicated =(


By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 11:50

Well imguesing your fat and ugly, but alot ofguys ilke fat girls, like me, and im sure you have a beaytifull smile, so just keep going it will get better
By anonymous at 09,Jan,12 08:50

I'm guessing you're fat and ugly. Is this the only way you can "try to hurt someone's feelings, by hiding behind a computer screen?


By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 16:45

fat and ugly well i am sure u will get someone one day


By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 16:48

i agree, i am married and have 2 wonderful kids and a job and money
I cant stand my wife but live with her for the sake of it
I cant stand my job but do it to get away from the wife
The only one joy i have are my kids

all i am trying to say is eveyone has issues, but i wish you all the luck to fufil your dreams


By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 20:33

Life sucks and then you die so screw the world lets all get high. I was a happy child but the older i got the more miserable i became. My parents were in a loveless marriage and i could see it. It made me not want to be a part of my family and i withdrew from them. I had everything i ever wanted as a child but today i have so much resentment and anger toward both of them. I am graduating from college soon but don't really care about that much less anything else. I have no enthusiasm left for life and don't really seem to enjoy anything. I feel as though i am just killing time until i'm ready for death. To me the world seems a desperate, cold, miserable, and unforgiving place; it seems the more i see the less i know. Sorry, if anyone was looking for an optimistic view but i don't have one.


By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 22:39

sounds like my life. and i'm pretty.


By anonymous at 08,Jan,12 03:25

Pretty ugly...


By anonymous at 08,Jan,12 11:39

Everyday I dream of death. I few friends I have, have taken their lives and people say they're weak for doing that but to me they are strong they had what it takes to so it and that's something I don't. I hate myself I'm image and the life I have. People don't understand what it's like everyday being down and not wanting to be around. I suck at relationships even thought I try so hard to be prince charming and do everything right. Theirs a saying " treat them mean keep them keep" but I would prefer to treat someone lick a princes and worship them but as I have tried recently after not being in relationship for 7 years it just back fired and now I'm told she just wants to be friends for the time being. I guess that's the nice way of saying it's over. She was everything I dreamed of. My relationship before that 7 yrs prior I was dragged through court almost sent bankrupt am am still paying for all the costs 5 yrs later because I love my son and want to be a father. I earn $150,000 per annum and every pay day I'm lucky to have $100 left to live on. I think is it worth carrying on. I wouldn't have this feeling inside me if I was to end it now. I love my son and he is all I have but is the pain from everything else worth it. He would be set for life if I was dead financially cos dead I'm worth a fortune. I love a girl that tells me she lives me but doesnt want to be with me. What do I do? Should I carry on?


By anonymous at 08,Jan,12 12:05

If you give up, you are going to make everything true. So please dont give up. Find someone, something . I am sure it will lead you to something. I dont know about Reiki, but I really recommend Yoga for your health and fitness.


By anonymous at 08,Jan,12 21:33

And SUBWAY lots of SUBWAY and SEX is a good work out..


By anonymous at 10,Jan,12 15:37

Listen you JENNY CRAIG DROP OUT.. you need to get it straight decide what you really want to do commit to it and DO IT and stop whining about your weight. In alot of peoples conversations the word WEIGHT is always a topic..uhhh.. IM SICK OF HEARING IT..


By anonymous at 12,Jan,12 13:11

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN...........


By anonymous at 13,Jan,12 14:03

Yup yup yup


By anonymous at 20,Jan,12 04:29

You're life story reads like mine..exactly except i turn 28 next month..nothing to show for it...
I've shunned most of my friends cos i cant handle their successes, everytime i hear of a promotion, baby, marriage i breakdown and cry. And they've stopped trying to force a friendship.
My few comforts as i await the end of the world..tv! Food! And sex..which are all endangering my life..ah what the heck..i got nothing else.


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