Im a 29 year old female about to turn 30 in April 2012. I don't have a job. I dont have a boyfriend. I have no money. I do have family. I am the youngest and im bullied between them all, even at this age.
i do nothing, I used to work when i was out of university, then i decided obn a career change at some point and left..i took a few other jobs, i volunteered in the hope of finding out what i really wanted to do..i went back to study in a subject i thought i wanted to continue in to, i finished studies. i havent worked in that field. I finished the studies for that 4 years ago. I have had interviews, i get rejected. i still apply and i get rejected. Ive broadened my job search to even jobs that are retail working in a shop, i get rejected. I fell madly in love, he lived in NY and I live in London, he moved to london with his job then dumped me and now hes living with a girl he met only a few months after me. My father died, i love him so much. he had terrible cancer. he wasnt happy that i was unemployed and doing nothing with my life and that was what i was doing when he died. i met someone after ages of being a hermit and not leaving the house, then it looked like things were looking up, i was keeping busy but then things just fizzled out and the guy i was seeing fizzled out too. i dont have that much of a social life but ive been accepoting invitations and making new friends but thats it, i have nothing of substance, my life is totally empty and void. Im nearly 30 and i have nothing to show fpr myself. all my friends are working and have boyfriends or married and i have none, i dont hace my own plsace and still live at home and nobody takes me seriously at home. i got rejected from every area almost..my hair is falling out from stress. i did all these reiki courses and positive thinking courses and putting life in to practice, manifesting my desires and sending pout positive energy, i did it 2 years syraight with all my heart. but nothing changed, even my mentors dont understand it.
i just feel like im undeserving of my life as im not doing anything, im just doing alot of waiting for death to come and then that will be that. im just waiting to die and it feels like a long and very boring wait. | |
It won't make you feel better, but you'll feel less alone.
All these people you see leading "normal, happy" lives, are also full of problems and questions =(
That's the sad reality!
Where you see a friend married with kids, sometimes there's a woman having marital problems and over stressed because kids are very demanding.
Where you see a successful at work friend, sometimes there's a guy that hates his job, but doesn't really have a choice because an unemployed man is considered a "failure" by society, especially if he has a family to "provide to".
Where you see a couple that have been together for a long time, sometimes there are two people who choose to stay together just because they're used to it and not really in love anymore.
I told you it wouldn't help, but you see, human nature is very complicated =(
I cant stand my wife but live with her for the sake of it
I cant stand my job but do it to get away from the wife
The only one joy i have are my kids
all i am trying to say is eveyone has issues, but i wish you all the luck to fufil your dreams
I've shunned most of my friends cos i cant handle their successes, everytime i hear of a promotion, baby, marriage i breakdown and cry. And they've stopped trying to force a friendship.
My few comforts as i await the end of the world..tv! Food! And sex..which are all endangering my life..ah what the heck..i got nothing else.
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