in highschool I cut myself. I had an abusive, drug addicted, chauvinist, on and off boyfriend who I swear just wanted to torture me because it was fun. my best friend always told me I was too good for him, and I didn't listen until he'd already ruined my self esteem, and any hope of me finishing highschool and going to university like I'd always planned. my mom is the brightest part of my life and I'm glad I still have her because I really used to treat her like shit.
I finally let him go and it was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I thought I still loved him.
now I'm 21, have a dead end, call centre job that really isn't enough to support anyone. it took me almost a year to trust my boyfriend of 3 years, and he just broke up with me. we moved in together 2 years ago and in the six months, we bought a car together and signed up for a 3y cell phone contract - both in my name because his credit is terrible, but it was okay because we thought we would get married. I have no license, no way to get to work anymore (the busses don't run early enough and its more than an hour to walk), can't afford my apartment, and no way to get out of any of it.
I let my best friend drift away because we both found steady, stable relationships. its not that I don't still love her, I wasn't trying to use her. we just fell apart.
I'm afraid to tell my mom because she has a stress disorder and has enough on her plate.
I have nowhere to go but I can't stay here. I have no real friends because he was all I needed. I guess he needed more. :'( | |
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