LIFE SUCKS

It is what it is

Who is to really say if their life sucks? By what guildline or standards do you go by to decide if your life sucks or not. No one can say really if it sucks or not, you can however decide if your life makes you unhappy by your own standards. What one person says sucks may be a dream life to another. I think my life sucks just like everyone else, but its what in life that makes a person happy that matters. From money problems to family problems, there seems to be alot of these two especially. Everyone has money problems regardless if u dont have enough money to people that have too much money, yes too much money. Dosen't seem possible for someone who would just like to have enough to keep food on the table everyday of the week. Money dosent buy happiness and is always a problem because your chasing something that dosent exsist (money and happiness) they really don't go together. There is no perfect family. there is no white picker fences in real life, no perfect family that is going to except everything about you unconditionally. those are just fairytells. Every ending to every problem is a begining to a new problem. Not reading the riot act to nobody, just wish more people would dwell on more of the positives in there lives instead of just the negatives. Here's why I think "My Life Sucks" (yes i mean that in a sarcastic way) I ran from a abusive relationship in which I had 3 children, moved in with a man that I had only known 24hrs. Took my chances because anything he could do to me could be as bad as what i had already been through. Left with the clothes on my back and 4 dipers for 3 children still in dipers and on bottles. I was abandond by my mother when i was a year old, rasied by an alcoholic father that was a cross country truck driver, so i was either in semi with drunks on the open road or bounced from one abusive family member to another, was beat and molested till i was 14 then stuck in foster homes that did the same till i was 17. got with the fater of my children, beat, mentally and emotionally abused, left for dead a few times, ran away with a man i didn't know to help save my kids. and belive me thats just a small tast of the whole story. eight years later after having my kids stollen and having to fight to get them back and running from depression and .anxiety, through the hard times of trying to get through each day with no money, no education, no resources, no family. belive me when i say hard times, not eating for days at a time so ur kids can, snowing in the living room next to the woodstove, that hot because ur burning ur kitchen cabnets to keep kids warm as possible, making everything u can because no money to buy it. mind youn i married the guy i ran away with, still married. he also had an ex wife and 2 kids he was raising working out of town, because it was more money than he could make around home, but not near enough(never is). here i sit, things r better by my standards, I am still rasing 5 kids, working as a cna in a mental ward,(jobs r rare these days, just glad i have one) getting abused physically and mental by the people i take care of, living in a run down apartment that my work owns because its cheap, they dont fix nothing, i cant afford to fix anything. wandering how to get my extremlly sick chil her medicine, how i am getting supper for them to night and if i can find enough wood to keep warm and cook their supper till tomarrow. what happens tomarrow? i dont know other than its another day i will fight to get through. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel, i don't know, but how will i know if i don't fight till the end? this is just a very small explanation why my life sucks, most people couldn't handle hearing it all, but i get up everyday faced with the same problems as yesturday without any new answers(cause there is none) this isn;t a story of how bad it can be and how you can get a miricle. no happy ending yada yada yada. the point is- the things that are good in my life no matter how small are worth fighting everyday for. if u r always looking for a miricle to make things better your missing out on the things you already have. whether you belive in god or not thank someone for everyday you have, no matter how miserable because everyday that u can fight for is worth it if you stop and enjoy it. It could be better but it definitly could be worse.