I've been eagerly waiting for someplace to write me thoughts down.
ANYWAYS; here's my story. I'm a 27-year old male.
My parents are foreigners, in a nordic country. A place where being a foreign-looking is an oddity. From kindergarden days, this issue was a menace. I used to be teased, harassed, mentally tortured by 6-year olds who had the necessary vocabulary to make fun of my dark hair. Yes, dark hair. JUST dark hair.
My parent never taught me the meaning or sports, nor did they place me in any sports club. so i remain clumsy until now. I never learned to appreciate the meaning of sports until being in my late 20s. that's now. and that's a wee bit too late.
I got admitted into a medical school. Far north in a small town of like 70,000 inhabitants or so. Was pretty sure that now i got my break, now i'm WORTH something. I was SO wrong. I'm 27 and still single. Never have dated in my entire life. As long as I live in this god forbidden terrestrial hell, there's no way I'll ever find a single girl to be willing to date me. Due to two reasons. One, i look like foreigner. Two: i'm too bitter to create a positive atmosphere around me. that's due to my past which is saturated with negative associations.
oh yes, i have to add, my parents are from middle-eastern origin. i don't have a religious upringing or anything. but nevertheless, up here you have a combination that makes your life on earth a living hell.
so to those of you who complain of your misery...
if you're living in a country which your parents are natives of, you're doing fine.
if in your days of youth you were pushed into sports, you're doing fine.
if you've EVER dated, EVER, even if for a couple of weeks, it's likely that someone's somehere out there for you, willing to accept you for a serious relationship.
If you fail in all three above categories, then welcome to my kind of hell.
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Let me begin by saying that I'm sorry you haven't found someone to share your life with. As I'm sure you are well aware it is not easy to ask someone out or find someone who's compatible. However, for someone who's in medical school I'm surprised you haven't talked to a professional about your past and the issues surrounding your interaction with others.
I know it's not easy and finding someone you can trust is even harder. Anyhow, hang in there. What country do you live in? What year or medical school do you attend or plan on attending? (Don't worry, I'm not hitting on you). I'm from the USA. I was born and raised in Chicago (Mexican descent). I've been happily married for almost 15 years and have 2 children.
Sometimes having someone to talk to helps. If you haven't started medical school yet, you're going to discover just how busy the life of a physician is. Give your self some time. I didn't meet my husband (who, by the way, is a physician and of Anglo descent) until he was 38/39. He too was ready to give up until he decided not to keep living a lonely and solitary life.
He faced his demons and talked to a psychotherapist; took a trip to Costa Rica where he nearly drowned; he promised God that if he would help him out he would break up with the woman he was with but not in love with; and, he decided to take "risks" in life and in love.
Not long after the incident in Costa Rica I walked into his office and he decided to ask me out irregardless of the possibility of rejection and the rest is history. I think, no actually I know, we have a tremendous love story that most people would find hard to believe. We are not perfect but we are human. We have managed, despite all our shortcomings, to be in love and stay in love. And, in spite of life and what it has thrown at us we have had each other for better or for worse.
I know it's not easily just moving half way around the world but there's always options. Use what life has delt you to make you stronger focus on your schooling than worry getting the girl!! Trust me you'll never find the prefect girl for you on your first try, they will mind fuck the shit out of you and that could affect your schooling, your career and family life that's all way more importain than hooking up with chicks! You can do it bro just hang in there you'll find her when the time is right you'll be a suceessful doctor and she'll be your hot loving fun to be with nurse;)
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