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trapped in a pile of my own shit!

Posted by Ftr. Guido Sarducci at October 18, 2011
Tags: Mistakes  2011 October

I know it's my fault. I wasted too much time partying & day dreaming. I just always hated doing what everyone told me to do. Now I'm middle aged and shit is so fucking boring and lame. No surprise huh? I've made too many mistakes guys. Not thinking shit through. Not really listening to what I really felt inside. Too stupid to stop and consider things.
I've got 2 kids now. Teenagers. I've been out of work for 2 yrs. Never finished High School (got a GED), never got a degree-not that I ever wanted one. Never fell in love and THAT is what hurts the most.

I've banged lots of women. Some way out of my league too. But I could never close the deal with THE beautiful woman that I really wanted 'cause deep down, I was always too afraid of what people think about me. And how they won't like me or think I'm ugly or think I'm weird.
So I'd just get drunk instead. Or just exercise. So just like that, I probably missed my chance to finally have her.
Then I got "saved". Becoming a Christian was probably the biggest mistake of my entire life. What a waste of 10 years of my youth. Fuck me! FUCK ME!
Then I married a decent woman, but I didn't really love her. I thought she was the best I could do. Of course she cheated on me. I divorced her and though I had a very good job, I hated that fucking job. Shit, I've hated every job I've ever had. You know why? Cause I never really knew myself and what it was I really wanted. When I found out. I was too chicken.
Well now I still know (more or less)but now it's too fucking late. I don't want to do anything else. Besides, I'm too old. Too many chronic health issues from busting my ass all my life...and hurting myself in drunken debacles.
I lost my job, cuz I was infatuated w/ a hot biker chick I was seeing who I couldn't stop thinking about so my work suffered.
I dumped her cause she was not good enough, then changed my mind and got her back. Then she dumped me cause I turned out to be a loser I guess.
I'm getting fat now guys. I can't exercise cause everything hurts when I do.
No degree. Middle aged. No job and no money. My car is a piece of shit on it's best day. And the dream I had as a young man I let go so I could hide from myself and everyone else because I was a pussy! And confused.
Now my boat has sailed and I'm not on it with her...that beautiful love of my life. She's out there somewhere I guess. She wanted to love me too. To give me a shot but I never showed up. I still tell myself it may not be too late. But how could she? She's so amazing, smart, athletic, beautiful and full of spontaneity and life!
I'm trapped in a pile of my own shit and too broken to get out!!
Let this be a warning to you. Do EVERYTHING you can to educate yourself. Listen to what you really want. Pay attention to who you really are and what you're really not. Don't compromise and go after 'it' while you're young. And try not to get hurt either. It sucks to lose your sense of well being cause your in pain all the time. And if you have trouble finding courage or strength, don't waste time with religion! Read LOTS of good books and talk to smart people and really listen! You'll find you will do just fine without Jesus. Promise.
Have a good life.
Fuck you.



Votes:


Similar Entries:
Life is bag full of shit September 25, 2010
Pull the goddamn trigger already March 16, 2012
fuck life fuck this world fuck every fucking thing July 7, 2010
trapped July 16, 2011
Life sucks December 21, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 22,Oct,11 23:51

Loser.


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 22:20

: 0~~)(~~ put some LSD on my butt and lick it.. :0~~)(~~


By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 23:57

ur fuked


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:02

wow, your life sucks!!! You've just wasted your life, what an ideot, should've got out while you could.


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:03

to the last peroson that has just commented, shut the fuck up iv been through exacley the same you slag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:04

What the fuck, your obvs the slag, silly cow! Who do you think you are!?!...
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:06

I so agree with you, she is obviously the slag, if she's being through the same.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:10

shut up you.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:11

you have no right to call me a slag, you havent been thorugh what i have..


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:03

its okay hunny, ignore the people on here, you do not want to be partisapaiting with people like these.


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:04

DIE.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:07

thats what i thought too, slag.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:09

Bitch.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:08 Fold Up

Who the fuck are you telling me to DIE, i could be the fucking queen of england for all you know, you wouldn't be saying that then would you.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:09

yes, because the queen is a snob,js.


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:08

and shut up the other girl,im not a fucking slag, i just went through some shit in my life, so shut the fuck up, your proberly some shit idiot, thats fat
By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:11

Well, i guess you'll fucking never know will you sket. i bet your the fucking knob that posted the entry in the first place.


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 10:11

k.


By anonymous at 23,Dec,11 16:07

You can be happy provided you stop being so shallow....


By anonymous at 27,Dec,11 19:27

WHAT A LOSER LOL


By flallinspeuw.myopenid.com at 18,Jan,12 06:30

cant we all just get along?


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New Comment