Living in pain every day kills a little of myself each day that passes. A back fusion cases my spine to twist, my nerves to be pinched, muscle cramping etc .... Life is so dull for me. So many things I cannot do because of my back. I use to love driving, I'd love to travel, see different parts of this world. I won't get that chance, who wants to travel with a girl who cant sit for long periods of time, who slows down everyone, or needs a sleep at 2 pm because of acute back pain build up. Rest relaxes my muscles, distresses me. When I get stressed I get pain.
Too scared to get into a relationship, have to explain to him why I can't do things alike others. I look normal, I m active. However, I am bogged down with pain.
Why am I here? What good can I bring to others? How much longer can I live like this?
Ever since I was little I knew I wood marry a guy from a fah. Not a guy from nz. Ive always wanted to be a mum. Ive been a nanny for half my working life and adore kids; however I don't get to b mother, instead I watch all of my bro's and sisters have families of thier own. My dreams are crashed, my life is upside down and my heart is slowly dying for the hunger of life.
I've only shared a lil of what my life is like, but I just wanted to say it, that there are days that I think that my life really sucks... | |