Im doing this in a last effort to save myself. My name is MajinDeion. Thats my online name. In fact I no longer use my real name. I'm lonely. I haven't felt this cold before. It started a long time ago. My mother was raped by my father thus creating me. Im his mistake, his sin. He's tried to find and kill me twice. I found this out at 15. Until then I tried so hard to make my mother love me. I competed agaist my sister for that long. I tried so hard. I went to school and was beaten every day by bullys. Normally I would brush it off but it was a small town and there was never anywhere to hide. One day after my 12th birthday I came home bleeding from the face, 2 teeth missing, and bruises all over my body. I was sent to the ER but it wasnt as bad as it looked. I remember my mothers face over my bed, looking in my eyes... Not a drop of sadness or anger... It was then I decided to die. I stopped eating... I stopped everything... Eventually I got on with my life and got over it a while. The bullying got worse and worse. I couldnt do anything but run and cry. This went on a while longed and then we moved. It was rough but mostly because I realized I have no friends. Things changed. My mother started lashing out at me but went mostly the same for years. Until last month. I have a brother. A half brother. From my father. Had at least. His body may be burried in the snow. My father married but he went insane and they are still missing.
My point is I have no family. No friends. Im a mistake. Im a shadow of my sister. I live my entire live over the internet.
I want to see what I have to live for. I just want to see what all my pain was for. There is a light at the end right? Or is that just a shadow to? | |
Seek CHRIST and learn about His Word. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! Your life (despite how it was conceived) is a gift and a blessing. You can make your life a beautiful life. People will see and you WILL receive the Love you deserve!
I will pray for you friend!
God Bless.
I remember that I may have been a mistake to them but I am not a mistake to my family and I found love outside the traditional family. People do love you. As far as the light at the end of the tunnel...it will come and go. That is just the way life is. It can be hard but you will be in my prayers. Sometimes life seems like it still sucks for me. I just look at the wonderment around me, nature, my child and I try and think of how luck I am for what I have because always remember all of the hardships you go through there is someone who has it worse. That is what keeps me going. It reminds me to pray for them because if I am feeling pretty shitty then they must be feeling it more.
Good Luck :D
New Comment