Okayy so i was back in my home town my dad is a constant drug user and when i was born i was suppossed to have some sort of mental illness because of all the drugs in my dads sistem they suppised to be passed on to me but that didnt happend! Well my mom fought for us while my dad was living the life as me my mom suffered alot too so as a refuge she sstarted taking drugs but would never abandon us or treat us wrong she also started seeing.other men and most of these men would try to touch me at night. So we came to my current city and i started using drugs like at 13 and started burning up things and getting into agressive fist fights bulling people in school but i did that to make me feel strong and not week like i really was. So years past by and everyting got a little better i was in 9th grade when my moms boufriend left her and she didnt have a job as a result i had to drop out of school start working at age 15 and coukdnt vgo back to school cuss i was too old to go back to 9th grade so i all do is work. A couple of years ago i started attending a church so that maybe that would change my path and it did for about 2 1/2 years i was clean happy until i met my ex boyfriend i loved him so much but hee humilitiated me.and only talked to me when he wanted to have sex and.he would make me do sexual axts that i dint want to vut i didnt want him rto leave me so i did everything he said i broke m moms rules and everyone elses rules. So i got preganat at age 16 and i was ghappy because he changed and started giving me more attetion so i moved in with him and we lived happy until i lost the baby then the pastors made a big fuss how it was a sin that we werent married and since i had lost the baby i had to move in ba k with my mom so i did. But then me and.my mom got into a fuss so u koved back in with my boyfriend but once again the pastors kicked me out and i missed my kom so i moved back in with my mom. Nit to long ago my granda died it was devistating i would cry myslef to aleep and i still do but sometimes i stay up at night thinking what my life has been. A faulire. I broke up with my boyfriend because he went back to his old ways and its been about 10months since we broke up and now i work but i hate my job. I ask my slef why cant my life be more.like other 19year olds why couldnt i just finish my education? Its all my dads afult if he would.be here right now i woukdnt worry about working to help my mom out and hef nee boydfirend who doesnt have a job. Sometimes i wish thati ever knoew this was guna happen to me i would of prefered not to live. Theres alot mire other things in my life that happended and still does but i dont wanna go inside those memories again because it crushes me. | |
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