Wasted 10 years fighting for a green card so I could stay and care for my son, lived in fear all those years thinking things could turn for the worse and lose my son, not being able to see my family all those years was hell. After 10 years of fighting was finally able to get my green card and thought life was going to be better, but was I wrong my own son made it a living hell using drugs,drinking going to jail and the latest getting together with a stripper and getting her pregnant and the fighting the abuse and the ugliness that accompanies people nowadays made it even worse, then the expense and fighting for the custody of my grand baby whom I more than adore. I have a very physically demanding job which I have done for 21 years and that has taken a toll on my body my hips are gone I never done drugs, don't drink or smoke because I thought that if I respected my body it would take care of me....and man was I wrong I walk like a 90 year old man and the latest I am developing problems with my elbows..cant stop working because years of supporting my parents and 3 brothers have also taken a toll on my finances....and last year sometime in June was thinking about ending my own life..even planned how to but the strength of the love that I feel for my grand baby prevented me from doing it..Im even feel ashamed to publish this sitting here alone at 2:35 am in front of my computer...but writing about it somehow helps | |
Maybe there was some kind of depression that your son fell in that caused him to be this way. i know strippers arent the best women in the world, especially their reputation but sometimes we can't just assume the worst by their occupation. The woman may actually hate the job and feels that there are no other options for her but stripping.
If all this stress is making you extremely depressed, maybe you should get back up, pack up and leave. your son has already established his life and it may be a while before he decides to change, but all you can do is tell him how much you love him and always will. Who knows, words like that can mean alot to someone and can be their motivation.
Start putting yourself first, you've already taken care of loved ones for so long. Now it is time to concentrate on you. Yes i've never done drugs or drink or smoke before, and yes you would think that that should take care of your health, but if that were the case, why did I need glasses by the time i was in the 8th grade? my eyesite was already going bad at such a young age. Why did my mom started having asthma symptoms even though she's never done drugs or anything like that? Its all about eating right and exercising. PLUS eliminating stress as best you can. The human body is going to fail us no matter what. its just a matter of time.
Try not to concern yourself with things that you cannot help or are out of your control.
- you cannot be responsible for everybody, especially now that you have your own problems. Nobody expects you to be a saint.
- let your son live his life if this is what he chose. Offer him love when he needs it. Drug addictions need specialized help in my opinion.
- be there for your grandchild!
Don't feel ashamed about anything! We are all on the same boat here more or less.. been there, almost done that.
Everyone i know goes away in the end..
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