God dammit!! So this school year I made a resolution to stop bitching about everything. EVERTHING, Unless i`m at the point where I can`t take shit anymore. I don`t want to go to the counselor at school. As much as it seems like it`s her job to listen to other kid`s shit, I think shes mostly there for schedule changes and clubs and shit like that. I want my own counselor that I can visit regurly. Btw, whoever is approving these stories needs to STEP IT UP and come here every month to post these stories. I JUST CAN`T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. Not allowing myself to be more open to friends is killing me on the inside. I vented at church on the stage and got prayed for, but fuck it did`nt do shit except now I get these moments where I feel like i`m high and feel happy for no reason. That only lasts a few seconds. I only felt like I got it off my chest for about a week. If you are curious as to whats been going on, i`ve been depressed but it`s getting better. At school i`m too busy to be depressed for the most part, but when I don`t have anything to do, thats when I start feeling depressed. I have 0 social skills this year and have`nt made any friends except for an aquaintance and this other girl but we became friends at church and I don`t have any classes with her. I have this one particular class that I especially feel depressed in. My IPC class. This class is where the most laughter goes on in. It`s like my emotions have an adverse reaction to happy moments and people that laugh at the smallest shit. Thats how depressed I am. I got to the point where I did`nt give a shit about taking the notes, I only wrote them cause I had to and the teacher`s aid was getting on my ass for it. I`m getting tired of having a class with someone that thinks shes my friend and that i`m not interested in in the slightest, and a class that I feel depressed in for no reason. I never see my friends anymore except one (besides at church). My best friend acts like she wants nothing to do with me and I don`t have a boyfriend. Never have and most likely never will. I only have 1 friend now that really wants me to sit with her at lunch. 2 of my friends are now friends with a bitch that I hate because she talked shit about me and my best friend`s lifestyle and I don`t think she even knew she was being rude! I don`t have a life and I can`t physically do it because I can`t just walk into town like I used to. You have to drive miles and my mom can`t physically drive me most of the time. I feel like I am mooching off my friends for rides here and there just to go to shit. I`m on a diet but I suck at it. I keep getting hungry and cheating on it. I suck at life and feel that I should just kill myself. I`m 15 and i`m too scared to for some reason. Maybe it`s because I want to live my life and see what happens.
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Options 1. Grow some balls and tell everyone who messes with you to fuck off. Or 2. Start kidnapping wall St bankers and torturing them in your basement. It worked for me I lost 20 pounds after eating their livers.
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