I'm a 20 years old student from eastern Europe and all my life seems to me like a movie which I do not want to watch any more. I'm not attractive - A tall fatso - I'm not sociable - have been taught to be independent - And I do not have people to call friends. If you have met in your life a quiet tall + fat and rather smart fat-ass than you should know what I am like. Nobody even considers me a person and tries to avoid me.
I'm just a scary fat-ass with weak social skills I guess. My life does not really suck, but in world where you can clearly see the corruption and meaningless of most things that look like a useless ritual you start to wonder whether your life is not a meaningless ritual as a whole. I feel like I have understood how the world works and now I am sick of it. I feel like an old man who only looks towards death. I have lost hope to find at-least a tiny fracture of miracle in this life which would give my life some meaning. It is hard for me to make friends, other people seem to have problems of being my friends. Although I have some people to hang out with (as long as I have money) they are not my friends.
My life is not fucked although I have been shadowed all my life by elder sisters accomplishments. Not really loved, not really hated... just ignored. You see in this wretched world I have no-one to trust and express how I feel. This post might seem like arrogant words from a spoiled brat but I want to confess - this is the first place I express my pain and while typing I am drowning in my own tears.
I hope you all who read this have a good life. It seems that being a dumb blond chick is the easiest way to live this life. I'm gonna try to change from now on - have to lose 20 kg to gain some self-esteem and good looks as a start... then... we will see... suddenly I feel better.... | |
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That's the spirit. You don't sound like most people, you don't just feel sorry for yourself and *wish* things were different. You actually have a plan. "Lose 20 kg to gain some self-esteem and good looks as a start... then... we will see... ". That's perfect. Do that and see what happens. You will be just fine. Besides, 20 Kg is really not that much. You are a guy, I believe that males have it in their genes to enjoy certain athletic activities. You just have to find something that you like. Basketball, cycling, tennis, running, lifting weights, whatever floats your boat. You will have found a hobby, be exercising and living healthier as well as gaining self esteem, finding new friends AND loosing weight at the same time. The decision (if executed) to start exercising puts you in a win-win-win-win situation. Have a good one!
First learn to hide your intelligent when people want to do stupid things, and learn to be your smart-self only when the people around you need her and will appreciate her.
Second work to lose weight with you smartness, google it and make it happen. It isn't that hard, but you need to put away your smartness and weak mind. You need to let your will to lead the way for as long as months for the result of weight loss to take place.
Problems solved, but what if you turn too attractive and you are too smart what make you unsatisfy? Learn to be satisify with less intelligent people, learn to not ask for more by whim but what you really need to be happy.
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