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lonliness

Posted by syrus at September 8, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  2011 September

i feel so lonley but im not good at socializing with other people, i dont really know why but i just feel uncomfortable around other people. I have never been able to get any real friends, i have only been with my class mates and once i went home from school iv been spending my days home alone. and when i graduated i stoped seeing my old class mates and now i just spend my time infront of the Tv or Pc. i also suffer from anxiety dissorder panic attacks and agoraphobia so going outside is really hard for me to do. sometimes when i wake up i start the computer i try to play some games or something to pass times but i cant get into anything and just think every thing is to boring, so i turn of the Pc and go watch Tv but the same thing happens there, there is nothing to watch, so after spent 12 hours sleeping and been awake for almost 1 hour im already bored to death and go back to bed and try to sleep, and i can spend the rest of the day in bed. i dont have any self confidence so doing things im not familiar with or good at gives me extreme anxiety and panic attacks, and i pretty much just crawl into a ball shaking and feeling nauseous and beeing afraid of losing controll of myself or going crazy, and when that happens im to afraid to do anything, since im feeling so nauseous im afraid of eating because i think im gona throw up.
i often think about suiccide but im afraid that if i screw up im gona get paralized (of hanging my self.) or trying To Od some kind of drugs but if i fail at that im gona be sent to some kind of mental institution, and im really scared of that.

it feels like im just killing time untill im gona die, with out accomplish anything in life.


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Similar Entries:
untitled story January 4, 2012
Life Sucks October 29, 2010
painfully alone March 7, 2012
Misery has no company April 7, 2012
not sure October 27, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 02,Nov,11 20:41

Hey whatsup dude, alright first things first whatever you do DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT commit suicide. I know you might be feeling really bad but please don't it won't help. Commiting suicide is just like running away but it wont get you anywhere. I can guarantee you that if you just take a nice warm shower and meditate in the shower or in your room and quiet your mind and stuff then something'll come to you and you'll get over your problems. I know this all sounds a little weird but you can turn your life around! Go for it dude and don't give up! :D


By anonymous at 03,Nov,11 17:47

My life is almost the same.and it sucks


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