I'm 23 years old. My life is not really fucked up, but i'm really lonely. (and poor)
I have one more year of college and then i'll have a master degree.
I don't even know how to explain myself. It's like everybody likes me, but nobody "likes likes" me.
Like if i don't contact anyone for 2 weeks, noone will contact me either.
I feel really alone. I'm good and kind to people, but it's like nobody gives a fuck about me. People will be cool and nice to me when i talk to them, but nobody wants to engage conversation with me,or SMS atleast, and i'm wondering WHY? (i do shower).
I had a girlfriend (my only one) it was good, but it ended. I've been single for almost a year now. I have friends, people at college always say i'm a cool and likeable guy, it seems like everything is greeeat, but when i enter home, like i'm in a black hole.
Girls i'm interested in usually reject me. I don't know what the hell is going on with that. And i'm not ugly to be honest, i get compliments and stuff, nor am i fat (6'0 -195). So the "basic looks" are not a problem. I'm funny, sociable... so what the hell is going on????
I feel like i'm going to my highschool days which were terrible for me. I was MEGA shy, afraid of live, failed every grade that could be failed, and tried to escape reality.
And i don't have money for shit. I can't afford anything i want. Thinking everyday will i for basic needs is depressing. And i try not to spend anything, but my parents still acuse me all the time that i spend too much.
It's like everything seems ok, and i have everything i need to be happy, and not lonely, but i feel so ignored and like an outcast. I'm starting to dislike people because of all this.
I'm tired of walking with a smile on my face and sorrow in my mind.
What the hell is my problem? | |
I was also likeable and got nice compliments, but on the inside i was a mess and all screwed up. The biggest problem, I think, is not really having any inner "core" of morality or personal understanding. I was at the mercy of the opinions of everyone around me. what you need to do is understand what you want and why you want it, and understand not to be depressed about things you don't have when you really never wanted them in the first place.
for example; Society puts pressure on people to have a lot of sex and if you don't have sex you are a loser. but is that really true? what substance does that bias really even have? Or hanging out with lots of friends at the bar, and having your phone ringing off the hook; is that really "good"? Or is it just an illusion? If your phone is rining off the hook usually it means people want something from you that they don't have. so is that what you want, people to be envious of you and try to take what you have? That will turn you into a jealous, vain person.
in a few years, if you look inward, you will gradually solve all of these problems.
That's my new slogan, I am like that all the time even though I don't need to be. Thanks, hope that helps me make the necessary change.
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