I'm 15, I'm very talented, I am surrounded by friends and family, but for some reason I hate all of them. I can only seem to see the parts of people that I don't like. They're nice people, but I have some weird extreme dislike for them all.
But worst of all is when I am at school. I loathe the people who fill the halls. They're always talking and shit and they won't let me concentrate on whatever I need to concentrate on.
Every day I feel like my friends and family hate me even more. My parents cuss me out on a regular basis, and I return the favor. Then they argue about me, and get angry about me over some other stuff. So I isolate myself from them as much as I can. As of late, even my friends have gotten into the habit of saying that I am a douchebag half of the time, so I wonder why they even hang out with me anymore. I used to think they were kidding, but they aren't. As a result, I have lately found that I really like just being alone, sitting in by basement, and playing guitar for hours until my fingers bleed.
I just hope I'm not the one in the wrong here, but I think I am. I don't have a screwed up life, I have friends, I have family, I have stuff that I own, but none of it seems to matter. So I just curl myself up into a little personal bubble and don't let anyone in. Every night is spent sleeplessly thinking about whatever the hell is going on in my life. Sometimes I just stare at my ceiling for an hour until my mom comes up and asks what I am doing.
But it just doesn't make sense, because I have all this good stuff around me, but I can't just appreciate it. So I hate. And I hate and I hate and I hate. The end. Am I going crazy or something? | |
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