LIFE SUCKS

Life really does Suck

Two and a half years ago I had my three children taken away from me. It happened because I caught their father cheating on me and I tried to run the girlfriend over with my car. My three month old baby was in the car with me. I was arrested and did 120 days in jail. I lost everything while I was locked up, my house, my car, my business, all my belongings & especially my children. After I got out of jail, I gave the asshole a second chance. We were homeless & living in a hotel (my parents had my kids) I knew my family would not be happy about going back with him, so I had to hide it from everyone. I ended up getting pregnant. I knew I couldnt care for another child, so we deciced to give him up for adoption. I hid my pregnancy from everyone. Afterwrds I was so depressed & the asshole left me for another woman to take care of her & her son. Meanwhile Im still living in a hotel< working my ass off trying to get a place so I can get custody of my kids back. Shit happened with that girl and he moved back in the hotel with me. I get pregnant again... I decide to place that baby for adoption as well. I use the money I received to leave him and get a car, apartment and furniture to get my 3 children back.

My baby is 3 weeks old today and my son will be 1 on tuesday.... I miss them so much and really think I made a big mistake, but there is nothing I can do. I am so lonely and miss thier dad too, but I know he is bad for me. I dont have anyone to talk about this with. I feel I like the only way to end the pain is to die.