I'm a 17 year old girl living in a small town somewhere in Ontario, Canada. When I say small, I mean less than 5,000 people small.
I was molested by my best friend's older brother when I was 7 years old. He was 17 at the time. I never told anyone about it for a long time - I finally told my bestfriend and mom when I was 12 years old. At that point, I didn't want to go to the police to try and do anything about it... so I would always just push that experience to the very depth of my mind.
I was 13 when I started drinking, having sex and doing drugs. Not just weed, I was doing ecstasy and cocaine. I would drink until I blacked out every time. I would give myself away to any guy who said I was beautiful or pretty.
My drinking became excessive very fast. At the age of 15 it was safe to say I was an alcoholic. I would drink during the week, on weekends, and even during class at school. Not to mention I would do cocaine a lot, and I even did ecstasy in school a few times.
I lost my virginity at the age of thirteen. (because of rape, basically.. would you consider rape being a sober guy who takes home a girl after she was puking uncontrollably around somebody's house? and couldn't even walk or talk? Ya, I was that girl...)
Throughout the age of 13 - 16 I have been raped several times, from passing out drunk and waking up to a guy having sex with my unconscious body. I had an STD (chlamydia), thank GOD it was only chlamydia, which is curable!! And not herpes or H.I.V!!! I am very lucky I didn't get anything too serious.
I also had scabies at one point.. that was embarrassing. I got it at the beginning of summer so I couldn't even wear shorts or tank tops!! I was too ashamed for people to see my hideous rash... scabies were HELL!!!! HELL!!! I would NEVER wish that on my worst enemy.
When I was 15 I went to the police to try and charge the sicko that molested me. There was nothing they could do because it was too long ago, thus, no DNA, thus, not enough evidence.
Messed up? Ya, the worst part about it is... he was doing it to his sister (my bestfriend at the time), and I didn't even know! She thought it was normal for him to touch her there and make her do things!!! The poor girl, nowadays she is out partying 24/7 and having foolish sex just like I did... but she was molested waaaaaaay more than I was...
The sicko is still out there. His name is Dwight Constant and he lives in Canada somewhere. That goof deserves to rot.
I lived my life having foolish sex, drinking uncontrollably, doing hard drugs and even prescription meds, for about 4 years.
The past 6 or 7 months I have been trying to improve myself. I don't drink anymore (except the odd one or two) and I quit having foolish/promiscuous sex. I won't have sex with ANYONE unless I have been dating the person for at LEAST one month. That is my rule. :)
My only problem I face today?
The pain that I never got justice from being molested or raped.
And that pain has expressed itself through my new-found addiction - Oxy Contin.
It started about a year ago. I would only take one pill a month. Then it became 1 pill every week. Then it was 2 pills every week. Now it is one pill every day. I am quickly drowning in my addiction as it takes hold of me....
I am telling my mom about my addiction tonight. So she can take the oxy's (I s teal her pills) out of the house and away from my addicted hands. That way I'll quit my addiction, I hope.
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it sucks because you'll probably never see the day it happens. please get help. talk to a physcologist, and get it all out. what he did was not your fault. it was his. and even if you didnt want to go to the police when you were younger, dont feel so bad about it. at that point, there may have still been nothing they would have done about it.
i commend you for trying to make the changes you need to. leave the oxy's alone. you're better than that.
i wish the best to you and your friend that had to deal with that.
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