I have a crap life, why? Coz it sucks. I have been through so many good times back in my country, but ever since I came to Australia my life started to get worse. When I came here I was 11 (now I am 17), and I was the daily target for everyone to have a go at bagging…. I was made fun of by the whole school because my name was pronounced differently so it sounded like a female name (none of them bothered to even listen to my corrections). Then came 2 other guys named Leslie and Ashley…. guess what? Their skin colour was not brown, they spoke good english, therefore they were not made fun of…. not one bit. This bullying happened for about 5 years… in which time I had planned to kill myself more than 100 times. Why didn’t I do it then? Well I keep thinking of my parents. My cousin committed suicide last month, he was suffering from depression. My mum cried so much, and my dad was disgusted. Now I am not sure what to do…. I am having so much trouble coping with everything and trying to live in this house where I am despised and demoralised all the time.
Ok, I will detail you everything if you believe that is no reason to die.
-I am short for my age (5ft 7inch exactly)
-I am not the type of person anyone would be interested in.
-I love video games, and want to be a video game developer….. too bad for me I can’t because my parents don’t want me to be that and they want me to be a doctor ( I am not smart ).
-I have a younger brother who swears at me, and talks to me in a rude tone every time he sees me and he loves to demoralize me (he is 15)
-I believe I have depression as well because the only thing I can think of are bad things about myself and killing myself.
-I have no talents
-When I started playing guitar I loved it…. then a few months/ a year later while I was playing guitar my dad said he regrets buying me the guitar I stopped playing it….. now they scold me at every possible moment for stopping it. I do play from time to time, but nearly all that time I play… all I can hear is…
“STOP THAT SH**!”- whole family
“YOU SUCK” - My brother.
Now you see my problems…. oh yea one more thing… no girl would find me attractive, if they were to talk about me at any moment they would say eww….
( I do have friends…. quite a bit of friends… about 10-15 but they are all really smart and better than me at everything )
If I don’t die, I believe I could possibly hurt my brother real bad one day… because I haven’t been violent for a long time…. and violent ideas are starting to come up… | |
People will be interested in you - you are interesting. I know because you are a person. People are inherently interesting as they are so individual even when you don't feel it.
There are so many good things out there, start by getting a part time job, see a doctor, tell them that you have had suicide thoughts. If they don't believe you - see another doctor. Once you are past 18 they don't have to tell your parents anything if you ask them not to. 5'7" is a great height - i wish my man was shorter so i could kiss him more easily. ps i have a man's name but i'm really very female
It gets better and life goes on
WOG PRIDE NIGGA!
You know I'm 5'8 and that its not a problem for me,if some one have a troubles with that - FUCK them :) More of that some people cant say correctly my name,so its can sound like female he he I found that funny:) and Im not fluent in English, but I live in English speaker country for 6 years so far.And on the top Im gay,my family not really accept that.But who cares....One tip what I can give to you Its start to love your self. Because so far for me its sounds like you hate your self,and you know how people can like you if you hate your one self???? Can you answer in that??? Im sure you cant,when I was 14-16 I think to kill my self,but believe me that would make any one happy. And to be hones I'm happy that I didnt do that. Life is fatefully and you see that in a time! In your own time. And let me tell you some think else.....in this life,in your life I mean you can be every one...every one you want!!!
You are 17,what the great age :) All doors its open for you! Just one think you need to do is open that door and life will change :)
I really feel for you about the bullying but at the end of the day you have some smart friends. and who knows might hook you up one day. love your parents but don't buy into the "mold." do what you like coz that will make you happy and successful. games is a lucrative industry. forcing yourself to like something you don't like ..I'm not even sure what the end result is.
it's great you vented out here coz people are listening. But to really get a piece of mind I think you should talk to someone about your issues. you stated the things you are interested in and some of your problems have achievable answers seek some guidance and you will have a more clearer path.
New Comment