I'm 16 and I am not the average teenagers now days. You see I grew up from a poor family where several people were living in a very small place and me and my sister had to sleepin thekitchen that was filled with unimaginable filth, but as the years went by my family luckily gradually got out of this poverty. But soon after my mother went psychotic as her mother that she didn't see for over 20 years died. She began talking to herself, screaming and had to get medication to calm her down. Now I got as job and it pays pretty well and I think I want to work full time there at night while at school. But the money just doesn't make me feel happy. I feel very empty. I don't have any true friends as they never really call or even bring me up. I feel as if I am worthless. My mother is crazy and I don't have anyone to talk about this with. Right now its my job that keeps me from going insane. I get great marks and I have money now but it means nothing to me. Whereever I go people just ignore me. All my life is right now is get up, study, work and sleep. I feel like I am unable to live the part of the life a teenager should. I feel like I am kicked into society without experiencing what teens should. It truely hurts inside when I hear some classmates hanging out together and having fun when I go and work. I don't know why am I working either, the money is just pileling on my bank. I do it since I feel like when I don't work noone wants me, when I didn't work I always sit alone and I do everything alone. I need help, just someone who would care for me or someone who I can be witg to reassure my existance. I don't know what is my meaning Ín life. | |
I can see how it might be hard right now, you are actually living, while most of others your age are still basically playing games and having fun. I'd say, wait till you hit 20 or 25 and you will fit right in. Not only that, I would be surprised if people didn't start looking up to you, as you will have superior knowledge of life then most.
You are actually doing quite well.
You said you have no one to talk to, well try the internet (just watch out for pervs). Reply here for instance. We can have a chat :).
People who meditate always stays alone and enjoys the simple life and you will be fine and you will find true friends in time.. and make sure you take care of yourself, eat well, not to much junk food, fruit, veg and water. :))
PoIuYt
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