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Why me...

Posted by Ryan Samson at August 14, 2011
Tags: Attitude  2011 August

Let's get straight to the point, I have a speech problem, I'm NOW low in confidence, I have no friends because they back stabbed me and basically said *Fuck you now, I'm moving up* I went to college and dropped out because it wasn't the same thing as I expected it to be, today is my birthday and I don't even get birthday cards, my father is a complete asshole for leaving me when I was little, my sister and I don't get along at all we don't even talk, my speech problem is the reason why I don't go outside, I FUCKING hate myself, WHY the fuck am I on this pathetic plannet? I can't even hold a conversation with my speech problem, my throat hurts when I get stuck on a word and it looks completely stupid when I try to spit it out, I'm always in my room 24/7 on the internet writing stories of how much my life sucks and write songs/poems to make me feel a bit better but the depression always comes back and sinks me down into the oceanic abyss. I woke up late today and thus my mother says forget it all we're staying at home, I don't like her new boyfriend he doesn't do shit. And I'm only 19 so it's just the bloody beginning of a shitty life ahead of me, I swear, if it gets any worse than it is now I'm going to commit suicide. Fuck it all.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 02,Oct,11 19:11

Ryan, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. What area do you live in? I'm wondering if you could work with a speech therapist-it might help you with your confidence! You should try to get out --maybe learn to play music, dance, something that doesn't require that you are talking, but allows you to feel better and be around ppl. I tend towards depression and definately notice that my depression is worsened by being isolated. good luck to you. please know that honestly, with age and a little support, life can be way way better at 29, 39, and even 49 then it is at 19. confidence tends to grow, and you tend to care less about what anyone else might think. good luck to you. let us know how you are doing.


By anonymous at 04,Oct,11 14:19

ryan samson eat or drink poison youll be happier


By Emme at 06,Oct,11 11:12

Please try and muster the courage to change your life. You are lucky and you will be happy. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you well.


By anonymous at 07,Oct,11 03:12

Don't focus your energy on the speech problem, focus only on the solution.


By anonymous at 08,Oct,11 17:44

person saying "eat or drink some poison"...you are a fucking asshole and you should NOT be on the site. Ryan, please don't kill yourself. Please talk to someone or write, if you don't feel good about talking right now, so that someone else that can get help for you knows how awful you are feeling. You can get help and feel better, depression is treatable. I'm sorry your birthday stunk.


By anonymous at 09,Oct,11 09:01

give me your email, we can be friends :)


By buy cheap oem software at 12,Feb,12 04:55

HmsLSg Internet is written with the capital letter in a sentence, by the way. And hundredths are written not with a point but with a comma. This is according to the standard. And actually everything is very good..!


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