Just another unimportant person telling a crappy story on a minor website. I know this peobably wont get accepted, but im typing this for my benefit. Not for your "entertainment". Anyway, I never had real friends. I wanted them, but could never get them. People just seem to dislike me. A doctor once told me I had aspergers because I was so quiet and antisocial. He was probably wrong. I realized I was gay, and had a crush on this gay guy. I asked him out and was rejected. This crushed me pretty badly. My coming out on facebook only got a few likes. I was addicted to cutting 2 months ago. Now I cant take off my shirt because I have so many scars. This is for the rest of my life. Im thinking of starting cutting again, because its the only thing that makes me feel happy anymore. I am ugly and fat, even though im not overweight. I tried to kill myself a couple months ago, but failed badly. It was a serious attempt. Now my parents wont let me do anything and I have to go to doctors and take meds. This is my fault. I just wish I could restart my life, or maybe begin life as a new person. I know that I will grow up to be a lonely loser, and I do not regret trying to kill myself. I know im not as bad as other people on this site, but I need to vent. Sorry for wasting your time. |
I hope you will hang in there and work toward a better, happier life for yourself. The teenage years are so difficult for most people, but it can and does get better, if you keep your head up and tell yourself positive things. Try not to send yourself hate messages in your thoughts--that works against you. Force yourself stop when you catch yourself doing it. Say good things to yourself (in your head, if you like :)) every day. Our thoughts have a powerful influence on our body. You are worthy of love. You deserve love. You will love and be loved.
Everyone has struggles. Keep fighting the fight and find a way to become the person you want to be and have a good life.
Exercise not only improves our health and our appearance, but it releases endorphins, causing a natural high. Eating healthy, exercising your body, learning new things, getting plenty of sleep--all these things help work toward making you a healthy person, in mind and body. The better you feel and look, the more confident and attractive you will be to others. Have goals to work toward--make plans for your future.
There are lots of books out there on every topic in the world and plenty of information to search out online, too. Read, read, read to find out the answers you are looking for.
You might not think people care about you but, believe me, if you were gone, there would be people who would cry and be sad. Your parents' hearts would be broken and their lives would never be right again.
Some day, you may be able to help others get through their tough times, because of the valuable lessons you've learned through your struggles.
Peace and love to you, JG.
xx your sincerely c: Tawny
I have been through similar things in life such as loneliness and dealing with being gay, but it does get better, believe it. I found love in my life and although I don't have many friends, things have gotten better over time. But they aren't going to get better if you don't allow them to. So put down the knife, join a club, or a start slow by talking to people online. I care about you, really, and I wish you the best in life.
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