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i woke up again this morning :(

Posted by saleenah at July 23, 2011
Tags: Appearance  Attitude  Family  2011 July

every single morning i wake up at 7 am, i am immediately greeted by my mother yelling at me about how i am so lazy and i need to get up and start working out, clean the house, look for a job, and if its not done by the time she gets back from work, im the laziest most worthless and useless thing in her life. my brother and nephew can lay around all day and she wont say a word to them, except maybe if they want something to eat. no matter how hard i try to help her out with everything, and i am the only one who helps her out, she doesn't care, because to her i am nothing but a fat, ugly disgusting poor excuse for a human being. she cant stand looking at me, overtime she does she makes a comment about how ugly i am, and compares me to everyone else. why cant i be like them, why cant i be pretty and thin like the rest of the kids. I suppose she is right i am useless, i don't know anything about anything, i don't have a job, i don't have any friends no one to talk to at all. my mom says i don't have anyone because of how i look and she's right again. i know how i am, but i just get so tired of hearing it i guess, it still hurts every time. the doctors say i need to be committed in a psychiatric facility because of how fucked up i am, they say im a danger to myself and others, i guess its true, but i cant even tell my mom about it, she and the rest of my family would think i was a pussy or something. i wish my dad was still alive, i miss him so much. he was the only one who seemed to kinda like having me around, and was always proud of me no matter how insignificant my accomplishment was. but he's not here anymore. i hope that today is the last day im alive. i don't know how much longer i can take this.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 12,Sep,11 19:43

your mom sounds so fucking evil and insane. she should be the one commited to a psychiatric facility. if it wasnt for our fucked up economy you could find a decent job and move far away from her tyranny.
By anonymous at 01,Nov,11 22:45

yeah, this economy makes it much more difficult to escape.

By anonymous at 12,Sep,11 20:42

Your mom is taking your dads death out on you. She can't cope. Don't take it personally.

By anonymous at 03,Oct,11 18:00

do whatever it takes to escape your mother. Living in an environment like that day in, day out will eventually destroy you. Take whatever support you can get off the government or people you know to help. you're being emotionally abused and until you get out of that situation, you will always loathe yourself and feel worthless.It's never too late too escape.
By anonymous at 01,Nov,11 22:44

I agree. There are people that, for whatever reason, feel the need to hurt others. They get a sadistic thrill out of it. There is never any excuse for treating someone that way. Your mom can't expect you to improve your situation if she makes you hate yourself. You should be loved by your mother.

By anonymous at 18,Nov,11 13:06

You need to stay strong things will get better in the end, and a lot of people judge by looks but the only thing that matter is what inside. I understand you are having trouble with your father death, and i know how you feel a really close friend of mine that i was talking about dating killed hisself it doesn't ever get better you get stronger. Stay Strong

By anonymous at 27,Dec,11 19:20

Your mom is trying to toughen you up. get move and do something useful with your life b4 its too late. your dad has gone and what happen when your mom died?? you need to be independent honey.

By Rick at 30,Jun,12 07:15

This is a good start. Some questions are not quite staetd so they mean something to everybody or can be answered truthfully. Maybe tweaking it for the next time would be a good idea. One example: many (?most) people have attended college at a couple different schools. One of mine was in Cleveland but one was not.

By Saira at 04,Mar,13 16:21

QA engineers would beeinft from the insight into security problems in software engineering, because currently very few have a good understanding of security issues and their impact. I am very much in favor of formal approaches that have direct applications like in this paper. From my perspective, the more real examples the speaker provides the better.

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