I'm 16 years old. I live in a rich neighborhood but i'm far from being "rich". M y parents were just good at saving their money is all. I have a lot to feel blessed for, i mean, i have food and a nice house and i go to a good school district. Not to mention the tv's and the computer that my family has. All this stuff makes me feel guilty about being unhappy because i always think about the people that have nothing. Yet, i feel like i could live without all this stuff. I remember when i was young and we didn't have a computer or an Xbox and i used to go out and hang with friends all the time. I was happy then without all this technology that i have now. But now i don't have any "friends". I mean, i'm on my summer break right now and i haven't hung out without anybody since the first week of June! It seems like all my friends have just become acquaintances to me now and i have nobody to call my best friend. Nobody replies when i text them, people ignore me on Facebook, its almost like nobody cares about me. And that's when i have to ask "why?".
I would say that i'm an attractive guy. I'm pretty intelligent too. I'm 6 feet tall and very fit. And yet, I've never had a real girlfriend before. I've begun to lower my standards to try and just get a girlfriend but even when i do that, somehow i end up ruining any chance i get with all the girls i like. This one girl that i like may not seem very attractive to most guys but i like her personality and she always makes me smile and feel happy when i'm with her. I've been trying to get with her since February now and still can't. She once said that she liked me and even told me that she wanted to date me, but she never wants to hang out with me and when i asked her out about a month ago she rejected me. She said she didn't want to date me now cause she was about to leave for her dads house which is in another state. She's gonna be there for a month or so. At first i felt ok with that because i thought that i would just wait until she comes back and try again. But now even she has stopped texting me altogether and ignores me when i try to talk to her on Facebook. And the worst part is that she has had a little bit of history with one of my "friends" and lately she's been sending him messages on Facebook saying that she wants to see him and hang out with him as soon as she comes back from her dad's. Now, I know that i shouldn't feel this bad, there's other fish in the sea, but i just hate how she lied to me and wasted the last 5 months of my life while i was trying to get with her.
I feel as if having a girlfriend would turn my life around and make me happy, or even a best friend. I'm just really lonely and i'm tired of everybody ignoring me. Today i deactivated my Facebook because nobody was talking to me on it anyways. I doubt that anybody will even notice. I doubt that anyone would care if i killed myself either. Sure my family would be devastated (and that's really whats keeping me from doing it) but nobody from school would care. Maybe that girl that i liked would pretend to be sad just to get my "friend" to try and comfort her. I bet people would give me more attention after i'm dead. Isn't that sad though? Nobody cares about me now, but if i killed myself they would all pretend like they missed me or something! HA-HA
Sorry that its so long, i just had a lot to talk about. Its probably boring to you all also but this is my life | |
good luck.
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