LIFE SUCKS

throwing it all away

Some of u will read this...and wish u were me. honestly, i wish u were me too. If theres one thing that really gets to me...its how badly im throwing my life away. I have everything, 2 very grateful and supportive parents. My family has a stable financial life...and most everything is fine. Theres a reason i wish u were me. Mainly, BECAUSE U CAN LIVE MY LIFE BETTER THAN I CAN.
Sometimes, i wish i could give my life to a kid in a wheelchair...or one of u who might not have it as i do. I have no desire to do anything with my life, i can never get motivated in the slightest...so why not give it to one of u? I wish i could do this...so i could realize how great i have it and come back to my life...and do it up. Ive been a successful athlete until recently. For the past 5 years ive been addicted to video games and i cant seem to get motivated to do anything. Ive been depressed for a long time, but i cant figure out why.
I frustrate myself when i think of how great i have it...and how im fucking it up. Im not out of shape, i have a decent social status in school...yet im throwing it all away. if there was one word to describe me...it would be ungrateful. Im so pathetic and all of u are probably thinking...wow why is this prick on this site. Now im going to tell u whats wrong. Everything, i have no motivation, no drive, no ambition, no desire to do anything with myself or my future. My friends are fucks. Sometimes i wonder why i hang out with them and why i dont hang out with people who i dont resent. Every chance they get...especially my best friend...they make me look as bad as fuckin posssible. Everytime i mix up my words, or say the wrong word...they start the attacks. They may not mean it and i cant tell...but it all adds up when ur as pathetic as i am. Its as if they gang up on me, like im the only one in the world whos vulnerable and able to be attacked.
Also, i dont understand why other guys are such fuckheads. Im one of those people who get put in the "nice guy" status and am a suitable "friend" to girls. I dont see the point in being a fucking power hungry dumbass like the other shits. I honestly dont understand why people have to display their power just to impress girls. Its really fucking annoying. YO DUDE WANNA ARMWRESTLE. DUDE I COULD TOTALLY KICK UR ASS. LETS HAVE A FIGHT NIGHT. I dont give two shits about that shit and it annoys me. I also have pet peeves that just bug the fuck out of me...like that previous power hungry dumbass mocking.
Sometimes i enlighten myself with new ideas of how to kill myself. Your probably thinking..."this kid's a dumbass, he has a good life and he wants to kill himself." I decided to tell u my story because for some of u who get abused, raped, etc and have a REALLY hard life. I respect u. Your not the only one. I have everything and i still fucking hate myself. My point of view on life is this.