LIFE SUCKS

This is not easy

At the age of 58 you'd think I would be riding high. I should be at the pinnacle of my career. My grandchildren should be a part of my life as I am still able to physically keep up with them. prevents me from seeing them. She sees it as a punishment to me. What right does she have to prevent the grandbabys from a relationship with a loving grandmother with lots to offer. I SHOULD be in California, my birth and childhood home. Instead somehow I have gotten mired in the pieces of a lifetime long gone. I am here in the midwest which is o.k. if your from the midwest. I have no REAL friends or family. My daughter has elected to live as remotely from me as possible and my son, well, he doesn't think of me often. Their father, my exhusband, taught them in their teens to not respect me and instead abuse me physically and mentally by encouraging disrespectful behaviour. I could go one but, why? So immediate family is outta the way. I have had cancer three times and underemployeed ever since my divorce and am at poverty level income. That is a real self esteem booster. Yet, somehow I have always remained spiritual and positive. But, lately it has been difficult to keep it up. I absolutely have "No one".