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You need to quit acting like a kid yourself. You are 50! I thought with age comes wisdom. Guess not.
I was raised by a single father since birth. Was left w/ 32 cents seriously! But life is about learning and over coming things that cause fear. You're afraid of being alone huh? He died 8 months ago at age 55. There will be struggling moments but that's life.
What about the joy youth could bring if you allowed yourself to open up to it. I'm sorry to say this but you seem to be a selfish, ungrateful downer.
Why should you have to COMPETE for affection? Kids need all the love they can get. Sounds like you and your partner need to come together for the sake of not raising more screwed up kids.
I hope you find happiness before you die.
My partner has destroyed me, the interaction with my siblings is untenable, If I am lucky to see them twice a year, and I never miss a birthday or xmas, I ensure they receive cards and presents and the like, sometimes via extended family members I still maintain contact with.
I hope your experience is unlike mine and that the ex maintains a civil approach.
I hope you go forward and find positives inn your life, I struggle though and can understand why you want life to end, I also have these feelings, unfortunately often, but I try to consider what the alternatives to HURT would be. I understand that this is a struggle and sometimes I feel hopeless also, using your savings should not be an issue as this will drive you to either improve thyself to ensure it can be ongoing, I hope this is true.
For my story though you will need to respond here on how you are coping, I am not attempting to offer help but an ear if needed.
Good that you are at least at a point of discussion,
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