I have been feeling like crap for the past several weeks and can't seem to find where i belong. I was in love with a guy who turned out to be a jerk who said stuff behind my back and lied to me. He shut down his fb because of me and now he finally got it back, but is tormenting me with the stuff he writes. He says that he never believed in love and thinks i am in some disney fairytale world where there is peace and love and crap and no matter how many times i say no, explain how i have always felt, say love is real, even say that part of me still loves him aand that he was my world, he flips out and makes me look like a bitch and i hate this so much. not to mention there is another guy who loves me, no matter how many times i say i don't feel the same, he still loves me. he stares at me during math, and the guy who is making me feel like crap, (i will call him A and the guy who loves me B), is using him against me and he keeps trying so hard to reuin my life. I am not ready to be with a guy but haven't told either of them, and am just trying to find my place here.
I only have two true friends, but one is a year ahead of me and we aren't going to be in the same school for a year. The other isn't in any of my classes and i dont get tto see her often. I am struggling to find other friends, and think i have found one, but i m still not sure.
Not to mention my 8 year old cousin hates me. I always try to be really nice to my family, but almost every time my family gets together, my cousins gang up on me. Only one is really nice, and my loder cousins too, but they never let me hang out with them. I normally leave feeling bad but everytime we have a new party they kind of forget about it. I wish i could fit in.
I only found this site after reading A's lastest comment about me on fb. I used to be close with B, but he deleted his fb and we lost touch. Anyway I read A's comment and it made me want to cry, he has made me cry so many times i lost count, and i just went over to the bing search bar and google the only thought on my mind: life sucks. I feel bettter knowing im not the only one, but i wish SOMEONE would understand who i am, not who A thinks i am!!! | |