Have you guys ever felt like you need to always initiate a conversation with someone or else no one talks to you? It is fine having to initiate a conversation to get to know ppl but it is really annoying having to always be the first to break the ice and if i don't no one will come over and say hi. I look above average and i am not anti social but i am tired of having to always making the first move to talk to someone. Do you think there is anything wrong with me. I am not desperate or pushy when i talk to ppl. The only possible reason i could think of is maybe i look reserved when i am not talking so maybe no one wants talk to me first. |
I was sitting in biology class, i sat at the very top becuase i just have this fear or phobia that someone's going to throw something at me if i sit at the bottom. (i prefer to stay up where i can see everybody instead of being behind all these kids. plus i was almost hit with a waterbottle at a high school game, so perhaps thats where the fear comes from). So, I always watch these students come into class and everytime they do, they either smile and shout at someone they know, either they are invited to sit with their friends or they come in WITH loads of people they already know. but for some reason, i always come in alone. And they all seem to sit in the MIDDLE of the room but here i was sitting at the very top, maybe that makes me look reserved But i thought to msyelf that maybe i should have put myself in the center to where they would have no choice but to talk to me and notice me. but then i thought how sad that would be that i would have to force myself to be seen.
I was standing out in the hallway getting ready for class to open becuase the teacher wasnt there. I stood smack-dab in the middle of all these groups who had friends to themselves. there were a gorup of girls right in front me, on both sides of me and further down. I just felt so alone and i thought, what in the world is wrong with me? why can't i have friends?
I was walking past the gameroom that my college has and i recognized a classmate who was inside playing pool with his buddies. i had realized that for the past 3 and a half years, i have NEVER been inside that room becuase i don't have friends and i am never invited.
There are times when i think to myself that things would be so much easier if i had this magic-create machine where i can sit down and design my buddies and then have them pop out of the machine and then we're ready to go. It's getting to the point where being alone makes me feel like i'm contagious or something. this has gone on for far too long.
So you see, its not just you and when you have the answer to this ridiculous problem, please tell me.
We make choices, some reading for you to help you college person.
Thomas Hobbes, "The Leviathan"
Daniel Dennett, "Freedom Evolves"
Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"
finally, forgot the author but, "Seven Habits of the Successful."
Oh PS, maybe people just don't want to talk and want some silence. Sorry the world is not all about you. Read the books above.
New Comment