Reasons why my life is complete and utter bull shit: (In no specific order)
1. My moms an alcoholic. She claims to be my best friend. But
If that was true, why is she drinking, and if shes not drinking, shes smoking.
2. My father is a fat asshole. Just because you make a dick load of cash,
Doesn't make you father of the year. You eat everything in the god
Damn house. You speak to me like im an insignificant piece of shit, and
You do not care About my happiness. Its clear.
3. The love of my life and I cannot currently have a relationship because
His suffocating asshole mother refuses to let him grow up, have a life or
Be happy. His hick abusive father won't give him the time of day, so he can't
Turn there either. He's my only reason of living, and I can feel him slipping through
My fingers like carribean beach sand.
4. I'm stuck. Stuck in the worst place in the world. Litterally, theres
Nothing here.
5. My far-fetched dreams will never come true. Doesn't a million other girls
Want to be famous musicians and movie stars? Who am I kidding?
6. I'm lonely. I literally have no friends. my best and only friend is my true
Love, boyfriend. I'm alone in the biggest crowded room, everyday.
7. I hate the majority of my looks. It's hard to look in the mirror and feel
Beautiful when your constantly told you look like someone, someone
Disguisting, and your nose takes up your face, and your hair looks like it could
Up and crawl away because no matter what I do, its forever out of
Control.
8. No matter what I do, I can't erase the pain.
I gave myself to my ex boyfriend who I was fooled into loving.
He ended up in a mental hospital in a straight jacket, he tried to kill me, stalked
Me and was a second away from ruining my life. I now can never trust
Or believe in anyone again. Ever. I'm too scarred. It hurts too much.
9. I'm not good at basically anything. I'm stupid, and all I can do is
Write and sing. Clearly I can't even do that right.
10. I'm too afraid to end it. I research methods of self destruction. And I want
To so badly. But I'm just personally scared. It's not because I'm unsure, or
Because I think I have a reason to live. I don't. I'm just a pussy to physical pain.
So,
Have I convinced you my fucking life sucks yet?
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1 Just because you met someone mentally ill doesn't mean everybody is like him. So overcome your fears and
2 Start to make friends, They can relieve your loneliness sometimes. Once you have friends and as you said you can sing then
3 Create a band or something, just don't give up singing! plus if you ever feel like talking to someone you can find me on FB. Don't be afraid, I probably live very far away from you, I cant do you no harm...
Your dream is to be a singer/actress, go for it, It's not impossible! If you give up you never reach your goal. Have faith and Don't give up!
I also live in an outback, it's so far away from the rest of the world, one needs to use a stargate to get here! But at least I don't have to worry about being shot on the street in a gang war. I'ts a peaceful place.
As for your looks, I don't think that it is a big problem, Love is blind they say :) But seriously, who isn't insecure about their looks? I certainly am. But keep one thing in mind; Every flower is perfect!
If you love him, and he loves you too, then you can work out ways to be together, love doesn't understands the concept of boundaries.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family my self, I know how that is... As soon as you have the opportunity, move to another place, alone or with your boyfriend. IT'S WORTH IT!
Don't kill your self, you are simply too precious! Wish you a Happy Life ;)
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