LIFE SUCKS

Double life

After four years of being with my boyfriend and living together on and off. I find out he is living a double life. When we started dating he was getting divorced and his lawyer advised him to not mix the girlfriend with the kids. So we did things together without his kids but he would be with mine. I loved this man like no other and it seemed like the same back.

I have been somewhat suspious through out our relationship. Somethings he did didn't add up. But he allways had a really good excuse. He thinks very quick and is a really good liar. There was a day we were at a store and they had a dicount card and they had to look it up by his number. There were two names that were the same and they guy read off the address and then again I asked who's address is that and he then lied and said I don't know some guy with my name I just use his.

One night he didn't show up and I decided to white page his ex wife I got the adress and drove by. And there his truck was sitting in her drive way in the middle of the night. So many thoughts went through my head. I decided not to knock on the door do to they have kids and I didn't want to upset them. That morning he showed up and I told him was I knew and he broke down and admited he moved back in with her a few weeks ago. Well more like a few months ago.

Well we ended it and that day he called me crying for 4 days straight and decieded he couldn't live with out me and he moved in there for the kids knowing it wouldn't work but to prove to them he tried. I forgave him and he came up with a date to bring kids over and all of his belongings. Well Guess what... That date came and went like many others in the last four years. You see he never would bring his things or kids over even after the suposed divorce. Oh did I forget to mention he wasn't divorced. Yes I tricked him and said Oh and I know you not divorced and he came back and said let me explaine. I was dieing inside and he never knew I didn't really know.

He contacted his lawyer and told me he only needed to sign the papers becuase the judge had ruled and she signed but he never signed the final papers and that was all that was lacking. If he did this and had them filed she could not stop them. What he still doesn't know is I have a friend now that works for the clerks office who has checked. Its been a months and there still is not change in the status witch he swears he took care of

Well so the day arrives he is suppose to be moving in. Well we have sever weather and a tornado so no move in. The next day he gradma has a massive stroke. He is very close with his family and they are a small family so then he is at the hospital almost everday other when he is on shift. so she is on life support for two weeks before his mother decides to let her go. Then its another week for a funeral witch there was no obituary in the local new papers. So I hope he couldn't lie about that but at this point who knows. So now we are back to finding him at his ex's wich he has a excuse everytime. I decide to break it off that I can't take any more. I am broken and beat down by a man I loved with all of me. He begs me and says he won't let me end it and he will be the man I need him to be. So he leavs and doesn't come back states he will be there I get a few text never shows up. I once again find him at his ex's in the middle of the night. I am sure there will be a excuse

I need to let this man go, but I don't know how. I love him and he knows how to suck me back in. In the past I didn't take this crap from men but with him I feel weak.. I know now he is never going to change but I don't think he will let me go. He will always be there trying to pull me in. I need strengh and I am not sure how to do this.