I'm 45 years old and I have three children. Last year my wife of 19 years together for 27 left me for younger guys. She threw me and my nine year old son out of my house. We had no place to go so we went to live with my mother who abused me as a child. It wasn't where I ever wanted to go but I had no choice. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and when she started taking her meds she lost her mind and put me and my son out on the streets. We found a new place to live and then my mom passed. In her will she left everything to my sister. That's my living stories now my dating stories. I met a few women on a dating web site and all of them seemed very nice. I went out of my way to treat them all like princesses. But in the end I got the boot without knowing it was coming. The first one had plans to go away with me for a holiday weekend and ditched me the day we were supposed to leave. I guess I would have been more upset if was someone new but she got back with an ex. The next one was. Someone I thought could have been the one. She was nice and sweet and a little crazy but that was ok. She was supposed to be with me on new years eve but changed her plans and went on a date with another guy. That night I got a text saying she was in love with the guy and he asked her to marry him and she accepted. Wow I never saw that one coming. Now on to my present girlfriend. She and I met out of the blue. It was something really special. We had a past together but not like you would think. Her ex husband was my brothers ex husband. I know crazy. We were together for only a few days when we knew this was it for each other. We were together ever day for a whole month. Nothing could keep us apart. Then one weekend everything changed. I didn't see her very much and when I did it was for me to take her out for a good dinner. I had a feeling something had changed but my heart told me to keep trying.I did what ever I could to make her see I was a good guy. I'm not like most. I treat women like they should be treated but everything came to an end this weekend. We had plans to do a long weekend together and that got changed to maybe two days and that got changed to nothing at all. I really liked this one and planned on making a future with her but now that's all gone. I don't think I will be able to find another person to care about me the way I need. I'm convinced that I have been cursed and will never find love again. This is just some of the reasons my life sucks. | |
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don't feel alone. there are many many of us that won't find love. probably even the majority.
Often people have continuing relationship problems because of their mindset, which attracts them to certain people. You've said your mother abused you as a child, this is probably where the pattern began. You learnt to interact with women in a certain way, now you expect certain traits in a woman and you have learnt to behave in certain ways, and to expect that kind of treatment in women. Probably those kinds of women are also attracted to you, they can tell that you will put up with shit, they can tell that they can push you around.
And thus you keep finding yourself with crazy bitches. You've been conditioned to accept and to expect bad treatment, subconsciously. I don't mean to sound condescending, many people have this kind of problem and that's why people in bad relationships often seem to make a habit of it.
I recommend counselling before you seek any other relationship. So you can learn what you're worth as a person, and correct your mindset. To learn to identify these traits in a woman and then avoid them. To learn how a healthy relationship should start, and how it should be and correct the problems that would have started very young with your mother.
So you can find a sane woman who will treat you right.
And also to help prevent your son from taking on the same mindset and following in your footsteps with bad relationships.
Sorry for being so blunt, I sympathise with your problems but I think practical advice is what you need.
But seriously, if this is a pattern, then you really need 3rd party, objective help. You sound like a nice guy, you deserve a good relationship and there is probably a nice woman out there waiting for you. So please get some psychological help, I think it will help you.
Just from what I'm reading in your post it seems like you're a "Nice Guy" instead of being a "nice guy". I know it seems like a small change of wording but its actually a pretty difference. Its unfortunate but women will always tell you they want to meet a nice guy but that's total bullshit, they usually end up going for an asshole and that's because what they really want is a man. They want a guy that is strong and will stand up to them. He can't let them walk all over him. So by being a "Nice Guy" you're probably letting women be dominant in the relationship and you're caving to their every whim. They might enjoy that at first but then they'll grow tired of it quickly and move on to the next guy.
You can keep being nice to women but just make sure that you're a dominant man who is strong and independent. You can be good to her and treat her right but do not let her walk over you. Stand up to them and they will respect you for it and want you more.
There are much more reasons why I feel this way about my life, but I really don't feel like getting to all the stuff Im going throw. Don't worry guy you still have custody off at least one of your children and that's a lot to live for in it's self..
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