LIFE SUCKS

BEING A HUMAN IS INCOMPLETE

Well well...I have to admit that I enjoy venting here.I am 16. Well, I feel very terrible and in misery. people don't accept me for who I am, people kinda hate me and find me silly, people always sorta hate me because of my personality, character, attitude and the things that I say. What i wanna stress it that my character is screwed. Yeah screwed terribly. I hate my life. It's like later on got to go out and do some work, I feel damn fking UNWILLING TO GO but I have to. I see that fking guy arsehole, who's around a few years older than me, or maybe in his twenties each time, I feel like punching him in the face. He's a useless faggot, a piece of shyt, I feel that everyone should just look down on him, while I am the one from the most prestigious school, the one with high IQ and intellect, WHY THE HECK AM I THE ONE WHO GETS LOOKED DOWN AND HATED UPON?? You know I hate him a lot and feel like strangling him when he flirt young girl right in front of me, around 12 years old. I know I can be that violent if I want to, but I haven train up well fit to challenge him yet. I wish to learn boxing someday and punch his face. Oh yeah I do learn taekwondo, but sucks though. Boxing might be better cos I love to use my fist. I really do hope that I won't get violent when I see him. yeah I am just trying to tell you that I have this kind of "bad feeling" wherever I go to. I just have it, it sucks to the fking core. I dunno why but people sorta wanna bully me and cast me to tell. Even dogs, bark and me and wanna bully me. I can sense it. I am a cool and good looking guy, with nice height nice broad shoulder and do well in studies. But I just FKING cannot stand how people treat me. Well of course I am still a virgin and whenever I try out on girls, after a few sentences, they would sorta ignore and reject me. I know, it's my character and the way and the things that I say. Now that I am 16, character is already formed, I can't help it but maintain my old sucky ways. Well, I have been through a lot of sucky things too. I am a loner in class too. I have always been thinking would it be better if I could stay as a teen(cos I would be young), or is it better to be an adult cos I would stay away from such rejections and hurt and just probably work and get pay and enjoy life - prostitution, good food, great wine, travel a lot, wear good branded stuffs, drive nice cars, live in big houses and enjoy beautiful places and picturesque sceneries. Well..still can enjoy life though. I'd want to be spiritual, to have powers with the elements and also have 3rd eye so that I can communicate with gods and know more about them and become a god myself. I really wanna know what this whole world is about. BEING A HUMAN IS INCOMPLETE, get it?I know some people would probably find me silly or something so I'll stop blabbering around. Spirits do exist. Sometimes I do have thoughts of ending my life cos...cos people just dun accept me and sorta bully me. I am always the outcast. I dun believe it, I look someone who is soooooo great but my character sucksssssssss soooooo much!!! Is this a joke god made on me? Well perhaps so, cos god wanna ensure that noone is perfect. I am 16, but I find no purpose in life. I mean so what if I got rich, so what if I do lots of good deeds, so what if I foud my true love, so what if I started my own family, so what if I invented big things to the mankind...would I gain eternal happiness and bliss?? NO. All these doesn't last. Once you can be happy, but nce something happens, it blows your happiness up. I am a buddhist, I know buddha says must release all worries and tensions in life by meditating and understand tao and karma. I tried before, and because of that, I was possessed and had to do excorcism. Possession sucks!! I nearly killed my family and I caused my family to hate and despise me. No friends, no family support except for my mum who sorta dun really love me anymore...yeah. Nah I am not here to tell you about my sucky past, but just to tell you about my sucky present. Life as a human can be tough. Yu have got so many cultures, religions and environment to adapt to. For example, once you reach high school you got to try very hard to be as popular and get friends and mates. Then when you reach college you got to study sooo freaking hard to get a job. When you come out to the society you got to try very hard to find a fking low pay job. Then you got to try very hard to arrange for a marriage then you got to try very hard to raise your children then try very hard to save up money for your funeral. Well that sucks. I mean, perhaps it's hard in my country cos the cost of living is VERY HIGH. I am from asia, singapore. It's a great country though, but it's just that people have to study then work very very hard in order to survive cos the cost of living is simply too high. Even old people in their 70's 80's got to work as sweeper, rubbish collector, collecting cans and plastic bottles for recycling to earn that few cents for each bottles and cans just to have that bowl of noodle for their dinner. Our life can never be completely happy. As a child, you are free from worries and happy everyday, but you yearn to grow up. As a teen, you are living in your youth, but it's sorta like sucks cos you have to endure soooo many things. As an adult, you got a dull life but work sooo hard in order to survive. Well that doesn't suck. That's what the world made us into. But I am just stating how life can be. Why can't we all attain buddhahood and be forever happy and free of worries?