You know I just feel like dying. I really dunno how to move on with life but it just sucks soooo much...Or rather I can say I am pretty aimless and hopeless in life. I am sorta a loner. I am 16. There's so many things that I wanna do now like having a good character so that I can be popular in school and have lots of friends and be fun and have sex...I wish I can be part of the popular groups..I wish I have never made dumb and regretful decisions in the past, I wish I haven been through all the sucky times from 12-15 years old...I wish I could have more fun, know more girls and made more friends in the past and be more adventurous and have lots of fun...The problem is my life is getting so dullllllllll...yes! DULL and meaningless and aimless. Well I know what I want in life but it's sorta hard to attain and so what if I attained it? I can never rewind back time back to this age. Well i wish to be successful as an adult, perhaps becoming doctor lawyer or great businessman or become counseller and stuffs...but I find that what's the point of all that when I can't even enjoy my present life, my youth. I feel that my youth is being wasted...Even if I rewind back time to 12 years old, there's nothing much I could do to change it or to make it more fun...cos that's just me! My character and personality affected my life. Well at least my sucky times are over. And when I say sucky times, I MEAN IT. I have been through bullying, severe teen depression, loneliness and attempts of suicide. Of course my results sure dropped like mad and I even repeated a year in high school. Even my dad now has mid-life crisis and I know he's gonna make some weird decision sooner or later cos he's been acting weird. Well, I have been through quarter-life crisis when i was 15 so I understand how it feels. You know, I also feel like a wasted piece of GEMSTONE. Fortune tellers and gods and deities said that I am a talent and is highly intellectual. Whatsmore I am a handsome cool looking guy. The problems only lies on my ability to communicate well and do things right. I have been thinking of losing my virginity, but I just can't. I fail with girls. And so what if i lose my virginity? What I lacked of is youthful fun and youthful vigor. I wish I can go back to 14 years old again and do all the things I want. Yeahh...like have lots of sex, have very pretty girlfriends, go out very often and have lots of fun, do well in school and be popular, get into some fight(cos it's cool). Right now, I dun live in my present, only for the future. What's the purpose of living when you are old? I mean like seriously, you only live for the future, when the future doesn't seem bright. SOMEONE PLEASE TEACH ME HOW I SHOULD OVERCOME ALL THESE SHYT. I KNOW MY LIFE ISN'T AS SHYT AS SOME OF YOU AND I WASN'T BEING SPECIFIC ENOUGH OF HOW MUCH MY LIFE SUCKS, BUT PLEASE, AT LEAST TRY TO HELP ME TO GET OUT OF THIS PITCH DARKNESS; I NEED TO STAND UP AND FIND MY WAY OUT. YEAH. THANKS. I AM A BIT SUICIDAL TOO. ARGH!!.