i fucking hate my poor, idiotic life. i fucking hate it. i wasted all my fucking money on college because my parents lost their jobs as if money wasnt a problem already. no one wants to hire me & my family is fucking psycho. i hate my life. i want a dad in my life because it could possibly not make me feel so fucking empty. i want to have a relationship with my family like every other normal person does. this is bullshit. i hate you dad, i cant believe you have the nerve to stay with your current family & not even tell them that you had my sister and i. you coward piece of shit. i do nothing all fucking day. NOTHING. i no longer have the least bit of a life and it fucking sucks. i am a failure. never in my life have i vented this way, but i think after 18 years, this could possibly let me free.
i am so sorry god, im sorry that i have to be this way. i need help and no one beleive me. every one thinks im being dramatic, but really im just fucked up. and the people who fucked me up have no idea. \
Lord i ask you to PLEASE help me. you've done amazing things to me and ive seen you do amazing things to others. please help me. i really want to be happy. i want to love my life and my family. i want to be loved for once in my life. i want to be known as a good person and know i am one. not a piece of shit. Lord i apologize that i cant contain myself. please do me well. i dont want to be thinking about death anymore | |
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