How can someone live a happy life in today’s society?
I am living, what some people would call, a comfortable life. I am 19 year old canadian male, look like a normal dude (looks are not a problem), I’m going to medical school abroad in europe (I’m not very smart/average intelligence that is why im studying abroad and not back home), born and raised in a big city, and have a couple of good friends.
You may think I’m being a negative nancy but I’ve been depressed for years now not because of where I am in life but because of the way people treat eachother and what our values are nowaday.
If human relationship is the key to happiness, how can we be so cruel to eachother. We all are going to die, you’d think that would make us love eachother. The length of our lives are so short compared to the time of the universe, it seems absurd that people are not living our time here together. We continue to be cold, unsympathetic and distance ourselves from eachother. Everything is focused on being cool these days. We work our asses off to get money to feed our ego by showing ourselves off to others. Its not really survival anymore, its who is better than who. Why is this more important than loving eachother and being happy? Why does everyone have to or try to be so fucking cool? Why do we have to dress a certain way to be accepted by others? Why is there such an emphasis around the world for guys to be very muscular and girls to be very thin? Why do people get so pressured into being in a relationship? Why is being an asshole a good thing? Technology has made us so distant that we can basically live our lives now without saying a word to another human being. The lyrics to music today are all about being fame, money, power, and being cocky. Drinking and going clubbing is supposed to be fun? People whoring themselves out and fucking is cool? I feel completely out of place since I can’t get into thinking like teens or young adults. I often wish I was oblivious to the way I think.
People wouldn’t be able to tell that I’m depressed since I think I am genuinely happy but everyday I get out into the world and I come back beat up. I should add I don’t get bullied or picked on ever, it simply kills me to see people so unfriendly and to feel so alone, even my good friends don’t really see the same. I’m a joker and have a reputation of being a happy person. I’m not like this because I’m nervous around people or because I’m trying to win people over with kindness. I simply want people to be happy, have compassion for others, spread love, and receive love. But these past year, my depression has been getting the best of me. The only reason my life is on track like this is because of my parents. They both have both been great parents and they one thing I would never forgive myself for is to ruin my life and hurt them. If it wasn’t for them, I would give up fighting this battle everyday.
Also, as I got through this shitfest everyday, I have an inner rage that has grown in me and comes at times. I feel like punching, trashing, or beating the shit out. In a way I beat myself up by drinking and smoking pot heavily when school lets me. I usually blast myself not because I really like getting high or drunk, but because that’s a way of shit kicking myself. I have been drinking and smoking pot for 3-4 years now. I do this more on my own time than with others. I know if I ever found myself happy, I would stop so I could absorb everyday with clarity.
To finish off, I would like to say I read this over and don’t think I did a good job explaining myself. So I just say this: every life is of the same value. People with trouble in your lives, you are not missing out on anything going on. Just be true to yourself and keep your love alive. I know it gets harder over the years but if you keep your love alive, you will have lived a successful life. You will also attract the right people which will eventually come.
Love you all
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You might get shitfaced in order to beat yourself up, but my body already did that with these monstrous head aches I get. Maybe I'll write my own little note soon enough.
Being yourself will make you vulnerable to loneliness due to hostility to the majority around you. However, i say fuck it. Id rather be genuinely happy for a couple years and lonely for most of my life than simply being mediocre at best for my whole life. Its better to keep my soul and run with the hunted than to be untrue and cold like the society we got today.
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