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My Life wasn't supposed to be this way

Posted by bamasadguy at April 6, 2011
Tags: 2011 April  Mistakes  Money

In my mid-thirties I had life by the balls. Had a good job where I was well-respected. I was in great shape, just built a nice home. Two sweet kids and a good wife. But I pissed it all away with my own selfishness. I was a "player". Good-looking, and smooth. But it bit me in the ass in the long run. Now I'm past middle-aged, overweight, bad health, and broke, with another broken marriage and a crappy job. Living in a shitty little house watching everyone I knew back then living great lives and getting ready to retire. But I'll have to work till I die due to a string of stupid decisions. So now I sit here, all alone in a house with a couple of chairs and a tv sitting on a plastic table. Broke, very few friends, and a dead-end job that I'll have to do until I die just to survive. I wish I could die. I would NEVER kill myself, because I do still have two kids and I would never do that to them. But if only I could just have a heart attack or stroke or something, what a relief it would be.


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By anonymous at 19,Apr,11 16:52

Wow. I feel for you. I know about regret... 6 years ago I was engaged to the love of my life but we broke up... I definitely contributed to the demise of the relationship, and since him I haven't found anyone else that even comes close. People say each person has 5 different potential life partners, well where is my next one! I'm ready for love and I'm tired of being alone. I don't feel I'll ever meet anyone else who I can actually be with; I'm very picky and I just don't believe in settling. Every guy out there is either a player, broke or a fucking moron. There are no datable men in my area- seriously! What the Fuck! I'm so lonely!
By anonymous at 19,Apr,11 17:16

Well, I never heard that 'people say' about 5 potential partners. Hmm. If anything, I've heard that there's one. Or other times I've heard that there's not just one. 5? Really? How would anyone know that? Did they make up the rules? Or are they referring some rule book somewhere that explicitly states that? Come on, 'people say' some bullshit constantly to help themselves feel better about life. 'People say' bullshit that helps them sound smart or in control of the situation. Never base your expectations on what 'people say.' They don't know shit, any more than you do. If I was you I'd start trying to face the reality of my situation rather than just sitting around hoping and wishing that it would change in some magical way. Just my two cents.
By anonymous at 19,Apr,11 17:32

Well one doesn't make too much sense. That would mean every person only has one chance at happiness with just one person. Whether its 3, 4 or 5 the point is it's more than just one. I didn't mean for you to get so caught up on the number 5. Elizabeth Taylor was married 8 different times to 7 different men. And BTW, who said I'm not doing anything to meet someone? I'm a member of several different internet dating websites and I socialize and meet guys all the time. I just haven't met the right one, or at least the NEXT right one. HAHA.
By anonymous at 20,Apr,11 12:25

would it make sense if you only had 5 chances at happiness in life? or 7?

first of all, life doesn't make sense anyway. second.... happiness is not always and only to be found in another person.

By anonymous at 19,Apr,11 21:14

fuck your life sucks. im so fuckin glad im not u. i feel sorry though seriously dude if i were u id take a gun and shoot yourself or something

By anonymous at 06,Nov,11 01:52

There is always a way. You can't sit around n regret. But we r all human n its hard not to feel it but u can't let mistakes bring u down. N anyone who suggests a person should kill themselves is pathetic n miserable n way more lost than any of us. They r ignorant n bored with there own useless life. Because anyone with substance wouldn't wish harm on anyonw. Only u can fix your misery by being strong n just get up everyday. Loneliness is the hearts condition

By anonymous at 10,Nov,11 17:44

i here you too i could have had a great military career but i threw all that away. then spent the next 25 years strung out on meth. during that time i had 2 bad marriages. when i finally met a good woman a real good woman i had to ruin that one with my own selfishness. she was a one of a kind. i finally knew what it was like to be in real love. i said she WAS a real good woman because she was killed in a car accident which i attribute to my selfish ways. now here i sit after 2 prison terms in a relationship that i hate every day. i managed to bring another child into this world with this woman and he is the only thing that keeps me here. i have 2 children from my late wife and they are the only reason i don't just o.d. on some heroin. it would be so nice just to go out like kurt cobain, but i owe my boy's more than that. so here i sit no job arthritis from my neck to my tailbone hoping that one day i just won't wake up.

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