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is anyone as weird as me?

Posted by anonymous at April 6, 2011
Tags: 2011 April  Attitude  Sexuality

i am completely fucked up. i see almost every situation in a sexual way. sometimes i even feel super awkward around my family cause i think they see me sexually. i feel like everyone sees me sexually and im often right. i am not turned on by loving sex because i dont really believe its true and if it is it couldnt be that hot. i cant relate to anyone. my own boyfriend thinks my sexual desires are too hardcore. i think i must be bisexual because i get really turned on if i see any sort of sexy scene in a movie of another girls body. i dont like to watch movies, especially with friends because when sex scenes come on i am way too aroused and to me the sexual tension is unbearable. and i feel like everyone is secretly really wishing we could all just start having group sex. i cant orgasm with my boyfriend unless i think of really extreme things. i cant look men in the eye because it feels sexual tension to me. but weirdly enough sometimes i dont want to have sex when my boyfriend asks cause i know it wont be dirty enough. and i also just dont get it cause i am sometimes so fucking sick of sexuality. im disappointed that its summer because i usually like to hide my body because i feel like men are always looking if i dont. and i know im not crazy in that way because men always think of sex and i somehow as a teenager just conditioned myself to be hyper alert to men and their sexuality. and ive noticed too many things. i think ive been too good at noticing when men are turned on and what gets them off. were all pretty fucking sick. we all get off on pain and i think everyones secretly into s and m even if theyve repressed it. i am blonde and slim with big boobs, fucking cliched i know. souds weird, but i dont think of myself as a thin blonde with big boobs. blonde doesnt suit who i really am. if nobody knows the "real me" and i dont ever act like "the real me" than i guess it isnt the real me and how i am now is the real me. thats disappointing. lots of ppl think im really pretty. im not trying to brag. its not that great to be pretty. i know that its the combination of being pretty and noticing how perverted other people are that has made me so overly sexual. i guess this all doesnt even "suck" that much compared to other things. im just so confused. on the outside i am so perfect. ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years. ive slept with 2 guys. but in my head its pretty much constantly sex. not in a fun, turned on way. in a creepy gross way. like if someone in my life is pursuing me sexually ill push them away but ill really get off on it even if theyre super gross. i always get off on the idea of sex with gross people. i think who i have made myself into is not actually me but just the person id be into if i were a guy. except i wouldnt be this way on the inside.

Votes:

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Comments:
By anonymous at 19,Apr,11 09:41

nope your not that wierd...actually i think we'd get along together just fine. some people would consider me sick or gross for my sexually thoughts as well. you are not alone in this sexual deviation of yourself u repress in your head. i too have sexual thoughts about alot of things such as sex with my own sisters, having random orgys with people in large groups, i lust about the ideas of fucking little childeren it would be a HUGE turn on for me to just bang a nine year old and have her all to myself...i also have alot of sexual thoughts about girls considered underage you know..13-17 considering the fact that im in my teens too i still dont use that as an excuse..i see all if not most of my situations in a sexual way...and u know what people would find even sicker...i see absolutely nothing wrong wit it...other people are the wierd ones not me. last time i checked we only had one life to live so id be damned if i didnt want to take chances and do the things i actually would want to do instead of just stay with the crowd and be a zombie for the rest of my life.if we met im sure you'd find me quite attractive and so would i..first thing i would be thinking right on the spot is. i probably waanna fuck this girl.ofcourse im not the kind of guy that just rapes a girl on the spot.so dont expect me to just tackle ya down or sum shit...most i would probably do if i saw u is look at you and smile and....maybe say hi....because i too am a shy antisocial person in reality i dont have one freind....
By anonymous at 19,Apr,11 18:16

LOL
By anonymous at 28,Apr,11 02:10 Fold Up

your shy and antisocial condition can easily be cured with suicide, not to mention your pedophilia. look at it this way. if there is no after-life you certainly will have no regrets about offing yourself.
By anonymous at 28,Apr,11 20:23 Fold Up

you sound like a fucking perv who is probably not a teenager. you seem way too smart to be a teenager. and i dont think this person is happy with their thoughts, unlike you on the other hand. fucking weirdo. if you are a pedofile i hope and pray you get caught and go to prison and get fucked in the ass for life so you can rot in hell where fuckers like you belong.
By anonymous at 28,Apr,11 21:15

thanks for calling me smart : P that actually lifted my spirits i appreciate that...


By anonymous at 19,Apr,11 11:27

so...were you abused? maybe you should go to therapy about this. not because there's necessarily something inherently wrong about being that way, but because it bothers you. maybe you could figure out how to be more of yourself. then you wouldn't have so many yearnings to get out.


By anonymous at 19,Apr,11 18:14

Sometimes life is just hard...and you have to ram through obstacles that cum around way too often. But don't worry you will get throught his and burst forth like a gushing penis.


By anonymous at 28,Apr,11 20:19

i have had many same feelings... the awareness of men's eyes, the tension during movies, constantly thinking about sex (of people's thoughts), the lesbian porn.
But I DO believe in hot loving sex, I just don't get enough of it and I am sexually frustrated like hell because of it.
(thanks for the enlightenment) but when i love somebody I want to give them pleasure. I think selfish people are in it for themselves.
Maybe you have a hard time accepting love and pleasure from love, because maybe you were raised where love was conditioned, or just in other forms??
Regardless, Im not your therapist, just another fucked up individual.
Oh, and I also think the lesbian shit has to do with loving thine own feminine beauty, and not feeling appreciated.
Cause when we see another chick get off, we relate to her pleasure (I think men have difficulties relating to female pleasure)... and that is why things are so fucked up.
By anonymous at 28,Apr,11 22:10

I also relate to everything you posted and the writer directly above. My last ex made horrible fun and verbally abused me for my lesbian porn thing. Which I have stopped completely since for the shame of it. I wish I knew why I had all those sexual thoughts and feelings too, EXACT same as yours and MORE..being with someone gross etc., which I always have actually. I am a cliche look too as well. So for me now I have sworn off men and sex completely. I don't know what else to do.


By anonymous at 04,May,11 08:18

contact me my name is arlo pernell and i fell i have a face book just type in arlo pernell


By anonymous at 14,Aug,11 22:34

Just be yourself and try to enjoy sexuality more for whatever way it comes in. Lifes too short to be miserable.

But ignore that first post, fucking children is not cool. ruining someones life like that is seriously fucked up and you will put them in a form of hell until the day they die because of your selfishness


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