I have been having a hard time with life, no doubt. It started off with Iraq, being there while my wife was home partying, doing who knows what, and she happened to call me up on Christmas day while she was at some camp in the middle of the woods drinking beers and whatever else. So I come the fuck home from the sand and became a more loving appreciative guy, so she can turn around and be a bitch to me and push me away, probably because she was fucking someone else but whatever I never found out fully. So she left went home, I had to pay all the bills for the new house, cars, take care of everything basically "fun" "fun". Well I got out of the military to go home and make my marriage work and was promised a job to match my pay in the military because I couldn't sell my house. Well got home me and my wife got back together for a few months, I got the job but they reduced the pay by $1000 dollars a month so I couldn't keep up with bills, oh ya then one of the owners of the business made it his goal each day to fuck with me because he didnt want me there for some reason, "probably jealous". So I quit that job and decided to start a business, all good right? Well my wife called me an idiot for wanting to start my own business, left me for another guy. During the startup of the business I went throught a foreclosure, divorce, and had to sell all my shit to pay all of the marriage debt. Now I hate myself and my life for the most part, some days I seem to be ok but usually because I'm high or something. So fuck it I guess, I just wish I could figure this pointless thing we call life out, I've tried so many different things to feel better, even trying to fake being happy until I actually become happy "didn't work out to well". I think I feel drinking right now too. | |
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