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Fake

Posted by anonymous at April 3, 2011
Tags: 2011 April  Attitude

I'm depressed (but who isn't)...I feel as though I have no right to complain about anything. I have a job, a home, a husband, a son, and yet I feel so alone. I have people I call friends but at the end of the day I hide so much of myself that I'm not sure they would be my friends if they knew who I really was. I'm my own worst enemy. I'm in my own head pushing myself to do things that I think will make me happy but in the end I'm never happy. Never satisfied. I often feel like everyone is out to get me even when I know thats not the case. I always think people are talking shit or laughing behind my back about me....I'm glad I don't own a gun cause if I did I think I would have killed myself by now. One painless shot to the head and the sadness would be over. Just darkness. Sounds nice. I'm great at pretending that everything is fine. I walk around with a smile and small talk. You'd never know. Never have a clue how I feel on the inside. I dwell inside my own mind. Sometimes I have the most horrible thoughts and wonder if I'm all alone in this world. Or is everyone else just pretending too?

Votes:

Similar Entries:
i'm OVER all these fake muthafuckas that i know.... February 5, 2012
i wish i had a good life.. June 24, 2011
Fake it til you make it. December 30, 2011
Life is unfair. January 27, 2012
I Cant Take It. May 5, 2012


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Comments:
By anonymous at 16,Apr,11 10:04

You actually sound bored. Nobody said life was going to be a thrill ride. Compared to others you're situation is far better. You have so much that others do not. You have a job to support yourself, a home to live in and a family to come home to every night. Others have none of that. Your problem is that you're not grateful for your blessings. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do have. I don't have any sympathy for you at all.


By anonymous at 16,Apr,11 19:35

It sounds like you have more of a mental illness. I too put on a smile everyday when I'm crying inside and want to end my life, but I want to die by poison so it will be easier to view my body. I also think horrible thoughts. Mine are violent. You could try getting help. Listening to people who tell you you're ungrateful or wallowing in self pity simply don't understand your problems.


By anonymous at 16,Apr,11 21:06

many people are pretending. so you have a choice. you can continue the remainder of your life as it is, with that hollow feeling inside, or you can stop pretending. know your choice. if you choose to remain as is, in order to not lose what you have, then acknowledge that you appreciate what you have, and have made the choice to compromise in certain ways to keep it. if you choose to stop pretending, you may or may not lose a few things, but you will be making an attempt/choice to stand up for yourself basically. so choose. and know your choice.


By anonymous at 17,Apr,11 08:58

I suggest you get some counceling. Whatever your issues are, they can be worked with there.


By anonymous at 17,Apr,11 09:30

I'm pretending so your not alone. I am probably one of the happiest people who is always friendly and what not. Not because i'm worried what people will think of me but because i think people in general should be genuine and love eachother. However, people never give love back, and if they do, it usually not genuine. After years of being good to others, im starting to give up and be just as dark as them


By anonymous at 17,Apr,11 21:01

I echo what the last person said. You are not alone. I have many of the same emotions you have.


By anonymous at 18,Apr,11 07:33

I hear you. At some point you are going to get tired of
pretending...and it will start to show. First, take a trip with a girlfriend for the weekend. Talk to your spouse about your feelings. I think alot of people put on a happy face, whether they are happy or not. Actually I think society as a whole is just a bunch of walking masks.
You're bored. The entirety of your situation is leading to depression...not good.


By top seo guys at 26,Oct,13 07:59

ANM4N2 wow, awesome article.Really thank you! Great.


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