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WTF? Really?

Posted by Dickhead Dad at March 28, 2011
Tags: Family  2011 March

So, here I am, Dickhead Dad. I really don't understand my 19yr. old. I take his license for drinking under age and his mother gives it back. ( Divorced, happened twice before he was 18). So he turnes 18 and leaves for greener pastures and craps on me and his 6 year old brother from another mother. Was divorced for 7 years, remarried and another son 12 years apart. SO, I never missed any of oldest son's anything in school. Supported his activities and only demanded he act responsible and have as much fun as possible while respecting the law and other peoples property and rights, so good so far? He is above average in smarts and I think that is part of his problem. Even the Detroit judge said I was over bearing in taking his license!! WHAT??? My underage son drinks and has a car, I take his license at age 15, I still make sure he gets to all school functions, allow his friends to spend the night at my house but never theirs and I am over bearing!!! Where is the justice? Why is my otherwise smart son acting so.....so.., dumb? Why when I gave so much did I get crapped on like this? He has learned to be decietful, sneaky, with a sense of entitlement! where did he learn this? So he moves out at age 18 on his birthday. I love and miss him greatly. I'm trying not to become angry. I'm trying to understand. He knows he is breaking my heart with every passing day he ignores me. WTF, really?

Signed,

Dickhead Dad


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Comments:
By anonymous at 07,Apr,11 10:46

he's missing something that is making him angry. might not be something from your end, might be from the mother's side, or somthing else. But he's probably not thinking about it that rationally, he just feels kind of empty and it makes him angry and he takes it out on the people who are nearby. I'm not sure what you can really do about this yourself, since if he doesn't want help right now then he's not going to let you give it, but maybe just try to listen and pay attention to the things that might be bothering him (whenever you might see him around). Or just sometimes do nice things for him so he knows he's not forgotten. Just keep in mind that people need support and appreciation and understading for who they are to be happy, and I think he must be missing something of that.

Of course, you need it too, and it's hard to keep loving someone who keeps hurting you. I agree that something weird is going on with that judge talking about you were being overbearing for taking away his license. Very strange.


By Hard_Candy at 07,Apr,11 16:37

People say parenthood is a thankless job and I guess they're right. Your son is 19 years old and it sounds like he's a selfish teenager. He probably moved somewhere where the rules aren't as strict and he can do whatever he wants. My question is why does it seem like you're doubting your parenting skills? You have done everything right. Sometimes you have to give a child tough love and your job is to be the parent, not his friend. So the fact that he hates you right now is really very normal. Many parents experience this where the child turns on them for a couple of years and then when they mature, you just hope they one day realize that everything you did was in their best interest.

Your son's mother sounds like a pushover, she's taking the title of good parent in your son's eyes while your role is is bad parent, also not unusual. The judge sounds like a moron too. Remember judges aren't always right; they're human and often make mistakes.

Ultimately you just need to stand firm. If your son lives in your home he must abide by your rules; he doesn't get to call the shots. Remember he could have killed someone or himself by driving drunk so this is very serious. Just stand your ground and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Your son will eventually get over it. Instead of dickhead dad you should call yourself brave dad. It takes guts sometimes to do what's right.


By anonymous at 08,Apr,11 06:23

Kill yourself, death is the only way to peace, you son will thank you!


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