As I prepared to write my story out, I came to the realization that my situation is not half as dire as some of yours. Instead of complaining (this is not meant as a slight to anyone here), I decided to instead offer some advice and perspective based on my own experiences.
I live in an wealthy, unctuous, uptight country in a town with similar characteristics with a family of similar demeanor. There are some things I can't stand about my family-their inanity, ignorance, lack of moral courage...
In school, my life was dull and lonely (though I was never pushed around) and I feel as though I missed out on a lot, at least until my final year. College is better, mostly because nobody juts their head into what isn't their business. And I will admit that I have a good, albeit small, group of friends who understand me. But I still feel that something is lacking.
My girlfriend of many months is a sweet girl, but is a straightedge to put matters delicately.
Naturally, I am a little concerned about the direction in which my life is going.
I am 19 years old. You say I am young, but I am really not. A third of my useful life is over.
Think about that, young people. Life is truly short. That is why suicide is a poorly-considered action. You are already on your way to the grave, and you can't walk the other way. Think of life as the people-mover at the airport. Live as if you are going to die tomorrow, because one "tomorrow", you will die. And when it happens, you may be 80, asleep in your mansion, or you may be 40, driving to your well-paying desk job in your Lexus, or it may really be tomorrow (God forbid).
But there is life and then there is LIFE. As Bill Hicks alluded, life is just a ride, a dream, imaginary. Pain is but a neural response. Life is not supposed to be fair, and man's justice is inherently flawed.
LIFE is cake for some people. For others, it is Jesus Christ. For one type of person, it is joining the army. And for another, it is playing the xylophone. What is LIFE for you? For me, it is wine, a good cigar, a cheese blintz. Now, a cigar certainly won't prolong my life. But I do enjoy it, and without it, LIFE is life.
The only way that life, circumstances, call it what you may, can beat you is if you let it do so. You must think outside the box. I, and you, must try to live. We must beat life into submission; manipulate poor circumstances not because we want to, but because we must. If life-that idea of mortality, of devotion to a rat race-is not worth living, then make it worth defeating by LIVING. It doesn't mean fooling yourself by putting on a happy face or telling yourself that "it's all good". It's telling yourself that indeed it isn't all good but that you must fight it. Would you lay down and let Hitler roll over you? I didn't think so.
Wishing you all a merry Christmas, a better New Year, and go get 'em (because Good Luck implies it is out of your hands).
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