Right now, I am at my difficult stage in life, which I feel will never end. I am only in 6th grade, but I am afraid to talk to other people- including my parents. My mother was 16 during my birth. Before I was born I heard my parents loved each other and they were happy. One year after my birth they got married. Less than half a year later, they became divorced. I now live in Ohio with my father, I was born in Ohio and have lived there all my life. My mother now lives in New Mexico with her 3rd husband. From ages 2-7 I lived with my mother's mother. Most of the time I lived with my grandmother, my mom was married to her 2nd husband (my dad was her 1st husband). My mother had two kids with her 2nd husband,they are my 2 half-brothers and I rarely see them. I moved in with my dad shortly before he married his 2nd and current wife. They have a son who is now 2 years old. I often have to babysit him. He laughs when I get hurt and cries when I smile. At school, sometimes I try to flirt with some boys. I am an overweight girl and when I smile they look like they may be sick any minute. Soon after, I quit flirting. Then, I tried to make just plain friends with people. I talked to them, gave them stuff on their birthdays, and even tutored some people. When I walk down the hall, people stare in a grossed out manner. Sometimes, I ask my teacher if I can go to the bathroom. If I can, I don't even use the toilet, I look in the mirror, tell my self how ugly I am, and cry until I cant anymore. I am very sad and sometimes think how happy I will be when I die. | |
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