I long for the touch of a woman, a loving embrace, a passionate kiss, long talks that result in a lifting of the spirits. These are things that are foreign to me things i've seen only in movies, in songs, and in life. Will I ever experience these wonderful things that make life worth living? Probably not, all my fault due to not having enough courage to approach the opposite sex, low self esteem, no confidence, no money, basically all traits women find unattractive, I would imagine. Appearance wise I feel more beast than beauty. But that's cool, what am I'm going to do? I did not win the genetic lottery, yet I've seen people who look like me or worse with beautiful women which blows my mind. I guess personality goes a long away. I unfortunately have the personality of a Is life worth living when the most simple of all human emotions is never sated? Is it possible to go through life and never experience love? I'm around 30 so i've pretty much given up but it does warm the heart to think maybe it'll happen, deluding myself into thinking love is right around the corner when it's more like around the moon. In my early 20's I made love to a woman once and it was okay yet a forgettable experience, all lust and no love a one night stand or more like a 3 night stand, so i've had sex but it wasn't the way most normal people experience their first time. So i've had sex but never a girlfriend, weird right? I just want a girlfriend DAMMIT! is that too much to ask? I want to hold that love of my life in my arms squeezing her tightly, gazing into those beautiful eyes and spiraling into a whirlwind of ecstasy. A fantasy that will never become a reality unfortunately in my case. *sigh* | |
And yes, I get it, people are social, and part of what you want is just company and support, and a sex partner. Well think about this, what most people have is just that and no more... company and a sex partner (not so much support). Kind of like your 3 night stand that just goes on longer... until it becomes apparent somebody is cheating, or tired of the situation,etc.
I know you are missing something that you truly need, but realize that you are not alone. Very few people these days (always?) understand how to be in a good relationship, treat each other well, cooperate, share a vision, etc. So don't think you are the only one. Even people you see in 'relationships' may be feeling the same way as you. Of course they won't tell you that .. they'll only admit it anonymously .. or maybe to their close friends.
Just some of my observations. From what I've seen, despite what many of us were told as children, love is not something you are guaranteed in life. Much less romantic love. If you have any type of love at all, you have to count yourself luckier than some.
Look at all the supermodels who married rock stars whose faces were uglier than an elephant's butt!
I met the most beautiful woman i'd ever met by simply asking "what's wrong"? point is..don't be afraid to talk to women like you'd talk to a friend of the same sex.
Then if it ends..(in my case..They die suddenly with your baby) you spend the rest of your life wondering how the fuck you could ever do that again..) You sound like a very caring, smart guy..it will happen..just be careful who you choose to be with or it can destroy you.
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