I'm 28 and never had a girlfreind.
I don't have any freinds.
The only people i talk to is those at work. They view me as a clown.
I am, for the most part, constantly nervously paranoid that people will find out how pathatic i am.
I spent a couple of good years drinking and druging
(I have stopped 2 years ago thanks to rehab)
I get depressed often and spend my friday and saturday nights with obsessive fearful thoughts because i don't have the balls to "go out"
My mother died a couple of years back and my father and I never got along.
I am alone. The only thing that calms my nerves down is daydreaming of death: mine and random people (viginia tech style) | |
someone kill me already
i even sneak out late at nights going downtown hoping i get kidnapped and killed.
Stop right there. First of all 'pathatic' is spelled pathetic which you by the way are not and I can prove it right here right now. You were an alcohlic and on drugs and now clean for two years. TWO YEARS. You are far, far away from pathetic my friend. Congratulations by the way.
Now how could you be thinking of death when you could have odeed? You chose to come clean and you did.
People think you're a clown? Maybe you are funny, maybe you are not.
Let's start with you. Go do sport, if you got anger maybe Tae Kwon Do or kick boxing, go smack the crap out of someone and have them smack the crap out of you. Feels great. Now your body gets fit, it gets hungry. Eat reasonably good food, rest well and things start to change.
You are not pathetic, you are fantastic. God does not make pathetic things. He put his heart and soul into every creation including you. I think since you have the strength to come clean, you have the strength to do a lot more. Go find that more and do it. People are going to find out, they are going to find out what a phenominal chap you are so get working. Whatever you do do, do it for God not for people, not for yourself. People will let you down, God will never, although Eve really messed things up for us a bit, hope I can forgive if I ever meet her. That's a joke, of course I can. If it had been me, I probably would have eaten the entire tree.
You want to make friends, real friends? Go to church. That's where you have the best chance of finding a gorgeous woman, and a woman who believes in God as you, you will find no better wife. God's law:"Honour they mother and father." Doesn't mean you have to be friends. It is unfortunate, I too have that problem with my father. He is old, miserable and gives me grief, but I love him, he is my pops. He does help me, because I told him I just want a dad. No more, just that. It's getting better, sloooooooowly.
Mate if fighting is not your style, go jump out a plane. I mean that with a static line. Adrenaline will fill your nerves with juice buddy and you are going to love it. Go do gym, get a 6 pack, get some muscle. Forget the woman. This is about you. You are a legend.
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