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Girl Who Never Talks

Posted by Kayla at February 8, 2011
Tags: Family  2011 February  Juvenile problems

Hi!! I'm Kayla, your worst fucking nightmare.. I know you dont want to read about my life, as also you probably dont give a fuck.
But I'm going to go ahead a complain about the life you may or may not think is worth complaining about.
Anyways, since I was like 4 years old Ive moved almost every year of my life, and being that I'm 14 now thats kind of a long ass time.. Ive had to change schools and make new friends, and if you dont already know what that feels like it feels horrible.. Everytime I moved I hated it because I knew I was just going to be the weird new girl.. Even when i was younger and it was easier to make friends I still felt that way..
My mom and dad loved eachother, or at least I thought they did. Apperantly they didn't because they would be off and on, off and on, constantly.. And me, being the little kid i was thought that it was normal. I didnt fucking know that my parents were suppose to live with eachother all the time.I thought it perfectly normal that my dad would go and rent another place to live with for a time.
I was truly a clueless little kid.
Oh, and when my mom and dad were 'separated' my mom would have this man( boyfriend) that would come and try to take my dad's place. I have no idea why my mom liked this person. He was nasty and disgusting, and I completely loathed him. I loved my mom, but I will never to this day understand why she would choose him over my father.
And with saying that Im not trying to say my dad was good person. He had his flaws. Im afriad I will never know what those flaws were but I know that he had them.. Now after everything thats happened he tries to put the blame on what my siblings and I have gone through on her.
About 4 or 5 years ago my mom and dad 'split up' once agian.. My dad took his girlfriend and left us with my mom and her whatever the fuck disgusting creature that i completely and totally hate with a firey passion!! At this time we weree living a house and town that i absolutely loved, and my mom had us move yet again somewhere else.
WE moved into some apartment complexes, and thats when my mom started getting sick. She knew something was wrong but she just wouldnt go to the doctor. I was older then, so I shouldve known something was up, but i didnt.
She got cancer and died.
Now Im living with my dad and a heartless bitch for a stepmother. She doesnt care about me, no matter how much she says she does.
my dad only cares about fucking cityville and nothing else.
I have 2 nasty stepbrothers that dont care about anything but their video games.
My sister ignores me when i try to tlk to her about things..
My bro, well, whines and cries and everything else a 6 year old does. I love him to death but does he seriously have to be that mean??
I have a friend who cuts herself, she hurts herself so she can have control, and I think i may have began to have the same habit..
I cry at nite, silently so nobody will think I need help or that Im insane or something..
I miss my mom.. I wish she would come back, but i know she wont.. she will never come back and hug me..
Im the shy girl who never talks at skool..
Im a failure at everything i do..
I cant do anything realy well
my life is stupid, is pointless, and I hate it.....


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By Kayla at 07,Feb,11 19:51

I know there's grammer mistakes, and Im sorry if its hard to rea.....
By anonymous at 24,Feb,11 23:46

Why are you commenting on ur own story ?? You must have no life...
By anonymous at 24,Mar,11 22:51

I don't..


By anonymous at 06,Mar,11 20:19

Hey sweetheart, your not a failure, your just a teenager, and we all feel like failures at that age. Being a teenager especially sucks if your family sucks, but you will be an adult soon and can make your own life whatever you want it to be. I'm sorry about your mom. I wish I could hug you and tell you it will be ok. I went thru similar things when i was your age and now I'm 30, married to an amazing husband, and have my own kids that I love more than anything in the world. I got away from my crappy family and made my own wonderful family as an adult. I know it sucks now, but focus on the future and start planning out what you want to do with your life once you are old enough to make your own decisions. Don't start sleeping around or doing drugs to fill the void either. I did that and it only lead to more heart break :( But then I finally got my shit together and my head straight and realized what a beautiful life I could have. Trust me!!! I know what I'm talking about. Your mom loves you and she's watching over you. Do it for her! Make her proud! :)


By Discount OEM Software at 08,Mar,12 11:51

XEbeg2 Looking forward to reading more. Great post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.


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