Life's a gift, a gift given to us unvillingly. With no choises we are granted life. Some suits it, and some doesn't. Im one of thoose who doesn't. Even though im only 17 I can deffenetly say that if I could go back and choose between living and not, I would choose not to. For is life worth living, if you have nothing to live for? Like me, I have no close family, I lost both my mother and father at the age of 12. I was 12 for christ sake, how am I suppose to handle it! It left scars so deep in me, that I doubt nothing will ever heal it. As a child I was always second hand. I diddn't have any true friends, never chosen first or over others. Allways last, allways the outcast. As I grew up things diddn't change at all. I was still the outcast amongst people around me. I'm not exacly what you could call thin either. Life has only brought me pain and missery, so therefore I ask myslef, why keep on living? Why stay in this pain and suffering. But I find myself to weak to do anything about it. I've tried to kill myself on several occations, but I just dont dare it. For what if the future holds happiness, even for me? Maybe pain and suffering is just a part of life that you have to live with? But then why? Theese are the thoughts that rumbles through my head. Maybe I'm right, or maybe I'm wrong. But isit worth gambling on? It's easier to imagine leaving life, rather than doing it. Maybe the love of my life is waiting for me in near future? Maybe even I can find happiness? only the future will show, if I live to experience it. | |
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