Let me preface this. My problems are NOWHERE near the crazy stuff I read on here, so don't expect some story that could write a book.
I'm 14 and in 9th grade. Lately I've been thinking how unbelievably shitty my life is. I've only got a few good friends out of the entire school. And my sister and mom are fucking the biggest bitches you would ever meet. My mom gives me a lot of shit for the smallest things but treats my sister like she's a fucking princess.
I can't get a boyfriend to save my life. I had one in 8th grade for one fucking week. Yeah, you read that right. ONE FUCKING WEEK. Now he ignores me and probably thinks I'm crazy too.
Besides that, no guy has ever liked me. Never been asked out, kissed, you name it. I only have one guy friend but he only hangs out with girls, so that doesn't really count.
All the guys I like either have girlfriends or just would rather date someone their own age.
I've become so desperate for a boyfriend lately it's all I think about now.
On this Saturday the school has a girls-ask-guys dance. I would've asked someone but honestly they probably don't even know my name or think I'm weird. I asked my friend to help me find someone but she never fucking cared :/
And I still need to get a dress. I got in a fight with my parents on the way home from school. They make things way more complicated and so fucked up about dress shopping that I was like "You know what? Fuck it I just won't go" so this sucks now I probably won't be able to go now cuz they'll think I was serious cuz they're so fucking stupid.
Not even that, but my life is just so god damn boring. I come home from school and there is NOTHING to do. I don't have any power to leave the house and do something that would make me the LEAST bit interesting. When people ask me what my hobbies are I have no idea what to tell them. I literally don't have a clue what they are. I try teaching myself guitar but I suck horribly. And I've been playing since July, so it's not like I'm a noob or anything. I just suck. I'm not good at ANYTHING. I love to do a lot of things but why bother if I can't do it because I'm so horrible?
You know those white girls that live in the upper middle class neighborhoods? Yeah, that's me. I always get good grades, make honor roll etc. all that shit. Today in gym I overheard someone talking about their life and how they started smoking weed and drank vodka. For the first time I WANTED to be a drug kid. My life is so fucking boring and pathetic that I would love to have a life like that. I'm this pathetic sensitive girl who can't fucking defend or stand up for herself. But the people that drink and smoke weed at my school can do all that and still live a decent life.
Yeah, more of a rant. Sorry I've just had a really shitty life these past few weeks and I needed to talk. Thanks for listening. | |
Patience is the key, study hard and life will be interesting, and you will meet some nice boy who has more to say that how many bottles of vodka he can drink
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